<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Daylight by LoversSpit400</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24433279">Daylight</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoversSpit400/pseuds/LoversSpit400'>LoversSpit400</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America - All Media Types, Winter Soldier (Comics)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>And now he lives with Bucky, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kid Fic, Kidnapping, M/M, Parent Bucky Barnes, Parent Steve Rogers, Past Child Abuse, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Protective Bucky Barnes, steve came back</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:20:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>28,931</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24433279</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoversSpit400/pseuds/LoversSpit400</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky has done a lot of things he is not proud of, so after the events of Avengers: Endgame, he decides to help others like him have a second change through a program he set up with Steve. Because of this, he cross paths with a kid raised by Hydra and decides that he can save this boy as well.<br/>____________________________________________________<br/>Based on the Winter Soldier Comics (2018), but in this story Steve came back, retired and is a supportive husband to Bucky.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes &amp; RJ Boyle, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>64</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It took Bucky a long time to come in terms with who he was and what he had done. His entire life was a mess, always finding a new low to put himself. His childhood, the army, the fall, HYDRA, Thanos. Wakanda was the place he had gone to put himself back together in every possible way, but his peace and quiet were finished when he received his new arm and went to fight Thanos. Now the big evil was done, Thanos had been defeated and it was time for him to step up and try to rewrite his wrongs. </p><p>Steve had decided to retire, let go of the shield and pass it to Sam.  Steve had done what he had to do in the future, had been Captain America, and had fought aliens, humans, Nazis and Thanos. Steve saved the planet and freedom more times than anyone else and now it was time for him to rest, live the life he always wanted once the war was over.  </p><p> </p><p>Unlike Steve, for Bucky the past was in the past, he couldn’t go back - and to be honest, he didn’t really wanted to.  Bucky had done so much wrong to the world, hurted it so bad that he needed to do something to even his conscious, even if for a while. For every wrong he did, he must do two goods. This was his new life motto. </p><p> </p><p>That is how he decided to begin the “second chance program”. Through the program, he helped criminals that wanted to leave the life and set up them with new identities. A fresh start, a place to begin again and try to be better. On the paper, it was simple, in reality, not so much.

</p>
<p> </p><p>One of the resettled clients had called him and said the he had contacted one of his ex-girlfriends that still works for Hydra. The sigh Bucky let out when the man told him that was almost inhuman, he could not believe someone had been so stupid to this point. Steve, who was lying beside him on the bed, rolled his eyes and smirked a little, letting him go and get ready to meet Terry and make sure the stupid was fine.</p><p> </p><p>Three hours on a motorcycle later, Bucky was long gone from Brooklyn and the apartment he shared with Steve, sitting with Terry's dead body on a dinner, facing a kid dressed just as he did on the Captain America comics a lifetime ago.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello Mr. Barnes. I’m a huge fan.” The kid had shot him right on the heart, causing him to fall off the chair and on the floor, gasping for air. He would be dead if not for the Kevlar Shuri had made for him. “To be honest, I didn’t think I’d meet you so soon.”</p><p>The boy kept talking as he was grabbing a sword and promising Bucky that he would be clean, but was interrupted by a coffee pot being thrown on his head. Time enough for him to look at the waitress that had done it and Bucky to fight back.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know who you are, kid.” Bucky said as he grabbed the boy and threw him on the ground. “But no one else dies here.” They rolled out and before they hit the ground, they were back fighting.</p><p> </p><p>Bucky tried to get some punches in, but the boy was fast, had studied his moves, and knew exactly what he was going to do next.</p><p> </p><p>“You left yourself open on the left. You always do that.” The boy had said after Bucky finally hit a punch on his cheeks, making him bleed.</p><p> </p><p>“Is that right?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” The boy said and threw a smoke bomb at him; it would blind him if he wasn’t Bucky Barnes. He had heard the boy coming from behind, the sword cutting the wind, so he put his metal arm up as a shield. The sword cut through the vibranium and burying itself on his arm.</p><p> </p><p>“Where the hell did you get vibranium?” The sword that kept going deeper and was pushed out in a single movement that took Bucky aback. Electrical waves came out of the arm, giving Bucky an idea.</p><p>“See, Mr. Barnes? It’s like I promised. Nice and clean-” The boy said getting ready for his final blow.</p><p>Bucky didn’t let him finish, deflecting the sword and grabbing the boy from behind by his metal arm, directing the waves that were coming out of it to the kid’s neck. He yelled in pain as the arm electrocuted him. When Bucky let him go, he fell unconscious on the floor in front of him.</p><p>It took a moment for Bucky to put himself together, his normal hand brushed through his face as he advised the damage and thought about what he would do with the unconscious kid in front of him. Now, with time, he could see that the boy did look like him, the hair and the clothes. Everything about him screamed Bucky Barnes, the one from the war, the boy who inspired people.</p><p>            After a few minutes, he got his keys, cuffed the kid and put him behind his motorcycle, deciding that he would take the boy home with him and Steve. Steve would know what to do, would help him as he always did.</p><p>            Halfway through the trip back, Bucky heard moans coming from the kid. Taking his eyes off the road for a moment he looked as the kid was coming back to himself.</p><p>            “Welcome back to the land of the conscious, don’t worry you’re strapped in really tight. You only fall if I do.”</p><p>            “What is this? Where are you taking me?” Bucky couldn’t help but notice the hint of fear on the boy’s voice. That was a good start.</p><p>            “Somewhere safe.”</p><p>“You know I’m going to kill you on the first chance that I get, right?” The fear was out of the boy’s voice and sass was all over it now.</p><p>“I know you’ll try.” Bucky took his eyes off the road again for a moment, hoping the kid realize that he could play the same game. “What’s your name?”</p><p>He waited for an answer that never came.</p><p>“Well, whoever you are, your handler’s going to be disappointed. Kid like you, skills like yours… They don’t put you on the field unless you can handle yourself up close.” Bucky hoped that he would break down some of the boy’s walls and at least find a way to approach him, show him that he understood. “They started you with a knife, right? Guns give you distance, sure, but a firefight can always go south. Or in your case… your rifle can be too wide.”</p><p>“My rifle works just fine. I had you pinned down.” The boy spoke almost offended.</p><p>“And yet. Here we are.”</p><p>“Where are you taking me?” The boy said and again, there was the hint of fear in it.</p><p>“Like I said-“</p><p>“There is nowhere “safe”, Mr. Barnes. Not from us.”</p><p>“Now who’s using canned lines?”</p><p>After that the kid said the words that only confirmed that he was only a pawn in Hydra’s game. “For every one of us you strike down, two more-“</p><p>“Yeah, I’ve been hearing that same snake manifesto since before your parent were born. It was garbage then and it’s garbage now.” It had shut the boy down. “How about this? You don’t have to tell me who you are. You don’t have to tell me why you’re wearing a suit that looks like my old one, you don’t even have to tell me how long you’ve been with Hydra. But considering you’re not going anywhere and we’ve got a hell of a ride ahead of us… There is one thing I want know. You answer that for me… I’ll shut up.”</p><p>There was a moment of silence before the kid said “what?”</p><p>“Do you like killing?”</p><p>Bucky sensed as the kid stiffen and he could almost hear as the thoughts ran the boy’s mind.</p><p>“I’m good at it.”</p><p>Bucky sighed.</p><p>“Trust me, kid. Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you have to do it.”</p><p>“It does if you want to be great.”</p><p>Silence fell upon them and Bucky kept his promise, eyes focused on the road in front of him as the words rang down his head. He just needed to get to Steve and they would find a way to help this kid together. This boy was still a kid, didn’t look a day older than 16, but his eyes were darker and worn out, letting whoever looked into them know that he had a tough beginning. Hydra had taken advanced of that and twisted him into this. A murder. Maybe he could-</p><p>Bucky was taken out of his thoughts by a scrape sound on the asphalt in front of them. A man dressed in a white suit was setting up nails on the road.</p><p>“Oh crap!” He hit the brakes as hard as he could, trying to stabilized the motorcycle and avoid them both from falling. “Lean right! Lean-“But it was too late.</p><p>The motorcycle was upside down, sending they both flying on road, beside red and chrome, broken glass. Bucky used his already broken arm to break his fall, damaging it even more. Now it was just a piece of metal hanging lose as Bucky tried to get some air into his lungs.</p><p>“Come on, now. Surely this ain’t you first motor incident. I know you’re not down for the count. Gimme something here, Buck.” The voice was coming from behind him, mocking him, calling him a name only Steve could.</p><p>“Who the hell are you?” Before Bucky could think in defending himself, a nunchaku hit him in the face, making him dizzy. Blood was spitting out of his mouth, as the man wasn’t stopping.</p><p>“Doesn’t matter. The more relevant point-“The blows kept coming. “Is that you ain’t who you used to be.”</p><p>The man only stopped when Bucky was moaning on the floor, barely able to put himself on his own feet. His head felt like it was going to explode at any moment; the whole world was spinning around. From afar he could hear muffled voices, like they were talking from underwater.</p><p>“This is the opposite of clean, boy.” That was the man’s voice. Bucky could still recognize it.</p><p>“I’m…Sorry, sir. I thought—“ Bucky thought he had heard a hint of fear on the boy’s voice when he was asking Bucky where they were going, but now he could see that it was nothing compared to what the kid’s voice sounded like now. He was completely terrified, trying to make himself small and submissive to avoid the punishment that was coming. Bucky knew that pretty well.</p><p>“No, you didn’t. And clearly, neither did I. You’re no different than the rest. Just another waste” That had hit Bucky even harder. When he was the Winter Soldier, he was the best, the praise and the power that came with it made him feel was good. He had to admit that. Whenever a mission went well he would have his pride, would be praised by those monsters. He lived for these moments like a good-trained puppy that only wanted to please his owner and lived for the crumbs that he was given to.</p><p>“Please, sir. I-I can do better. I can be better, when we return home-“</p><p>“You misunderstand why I followed you signal, boy.”</p><p>The voices were now clear and Bucky thanked whoever God that was that he was already coming back to himself. If he was right, the next moves were not going to be pretty.</p><p>“This was your last test. You failed. There is no returned.” Yeah. The kid was about to be executed, shot down like a rabid dog that could not be saved if Bucky didn’t step up and did something. Grabbing the gun on his leg, Bucky got up.</p><p>“You’re not really a “positive reinforcement” kind of guy, huh?” Bucky made sure to aim the gun between the man’s eyes. The kid was in between them, right in the line of fire, he would need to think fast-</p><p>“Perhaps I was wrong. Perhaps you do still have worth.” Before Bucky could even pull the trigger, the man took a gun out of his pocked and without even blinking, he shot. The shot was steady, without remorse.</p><p>It was like Bucky was seeing everything in slow motion and couldn’t do anything about it. He watched as the bullet crossed the kid’s chest, penetrating the little boy's chest and coming out of it and finished its course by bringing a burn of pain towards his own tight. By the time the kid body hit the ground, Bucky was already blinded by rage.</p><p>He ran towards the man on a white suit, punched and threw remains of his motorcycle at him, making him yell in pain. Bucky threw him on the ground and punched, and punched and punched until he tired himself out. His arm was burning, his body begging him to stop. Now, the man face was almost unrecognizable. <em>Good. </em></p><p>“Don’t stop… Kill him... He’ll get away.” The kid’s chest was covered in blood, but apparently, the bullet had hit his shoulder. Still, a human could only lose a certain amount of blood and this boy was pretty close to hit his limit.</p><p>“Don’t worry about him anymore. He’s not going anywhere.” Bucky crawled towards the kid, applying pressure on the wound and trying to stop the bleeding the best he could. The kid was sweating and white as a sheet already.</p><p>Thankfully, the communication was still working and he could ask for help.</p><p>“Sam? Gonna need an evac favor. Got a… gunshot victim. We need discreet attention. Fast.” Bucky said, not taking his eyes off the boy for even a second.</p><p>“All right, I’ve got your coordinates. I’ll be there in ten.” Ever since he got the shield, Sam was working close to Nick Fury, Maria Hill and Sharon Carter trying to rebuilt S.H.I.E.L.D., they had been acting mostly on the US, gathering threats, fighting Hydra and anyone who tried to take someone’s else freedom. They were a hell of a team.</p><p>Coming back to his reality, Bucky was still applying pressure on the boy’s wound the best he could with only one arm, feeling as the kid’s chest got up and down.</p><p>“RJ… I’m RJ… Mr. Barnes.” RJ’s voice was quiet; this all had clearly taken a toll on him. His eyes were dazed and Bucky realized that they finally had met his age.</p><p>“Nice to meet you, RJ.” The sun was finally raising on the horizon and illuminating them. “You can call me Bucky.”</p><p> </p><p>Sam was true to his word, 20 minutes later they were flying above the scene, leaving behind a trace of blood and fire coming from his motorcycle. He had let Sam carry RJ to the jet and patch his wound the best he could.</p><p>“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look like shit.” Sam said after he put the boy on the improvised hospital bed inside the plane. Bucky chuckled.</p><p>“I had a tough night.”</p><p>“Clearly.” There was a moment of silence between them, Sam was looking good, his new uniform was blue and white with stripes and a star on the center. The shield fit perfectly on his back, as if it was made for him.</p><p>“You on the other hand are looking better than ever.”</p><p>“What can I say? Blue is my color.”</p><p>Bucky threw his head back, closing his eyes and trying to make sense of the roller coaster that he had been the whole night. Cuddling in bed with Steve seemed like a lifetime ago, everything had gone so wrong after that.</p><p>“So, the kid has a history or…?”</p><p>“His name is RJ and he was Hydra, that’s all I know.”</p><p>“Hydra?” Sam was taken aback by it and couldn’t hide his surprise.</p><p> “Yeah. He tried to kill me, but the night had some others surprises for us.”</p><p>“Bucky-“</p><p>“I know what you are going to say. But Sam, this kid- He is not bad, he just need a chance, okay? He can be good.“</p><p>“Just promise me you won’t lose yourself trying to save someone that may not want to save.”</p><p>Bucky looked into Sam’s eyes.</p><p>“I have to try.”</p><p>Sam nodded and at the final flights moments, Sam decided that he would take the man on the white suit to S.H.I.E.L.D. and Bucky would take RJ home.</p><p>“Say hi to Steve for me.” Sam said before Bucky made out of the plane carrying RJ home. Steve was already waiting for him at the front door.</p><p>“Really? This is your careful?”</p><p>“Shit happens.” Bucky leaned down to kiss Steve, but the former Captain dismissed him.</p><p>“You are a shower away from kissing me, Barnes.”</p><p>Bucky smiled the best he could and put RJ on the couch.</p><p>“What happened to him?” Steve said as he hovered the bloody boy on his couch.</p><p>“GSW to the shoulder. Through and through. Sam and I patched the best we could on the plane, but I think he might need a real doctor.”</p><p>Steve was already crouched beside the kid, analyzing the damage. “Clean yourself up as I see what I can do for him.”</p><p>Bucky nodded but stood on place watching as Steve took off the gauze that was protecting the wound and seeing the damage. The blood flow had slowed down a little, but Steve still flinched when he saw it the red liquid oozing down the shoulder.</p><p>Steve got up in a jump and announced that he was going to get the First Aid kit. In a few seconds, he was back into the room, holding Shuri’s nanites with him. Shuri had created it to speed the healing and patching wounds. </p><p>Carefully, Steve applied it on the boy’s wound and Bucky saw as RJ’s face curled in pain. For his own surprise, Bucky had to hold himself back from telling Steve to stop, to leave the kid and not bring him any more pain.  But by the time Steve was done, RJ’s face was peaceful, almost like he was resting.</p><p> “I think it’s safe to say that he’ll be fine.” Steve looked at Bucky who was still on the same spot. “I’m gonna put him on the spare bedroom and then grab your backup arm. This one is far from savable.”</p><p>Bucky nodded and finally forced his legs to move towards the bathroom. He took his clothes off and disconnected his arm, disposing it on the corner of the bathroom. He felt so relieved when the hot water washed away the blood and dirty off his skin, hoping it was enough to easy his conscious as well. His wounds were almost healed, only the shot on the tight still bled a little. By the time he was done, he was almost brand new.</p><p>He came into the room he shared with Steve, put on a white tank top and some sweatpants. If someone told his 20 years old version that one day he would had an almost simple and normal life with Steve he would have laughed. Now, this place in Brooklyn was home, this was his safe place.</p><p>He found Steve on the kitchen counter holding his backup arm and ready to put it in place. Shuri had made it simple enough for them to put, Bucky could probably do it by himself, but he loved the fact that Steve was there to help him. Only a push in the right place and the blonde was done, giving Bucky a cup of tea.</p><p>“Are you okay?” After all those years, Steve could see right through him.</p><p>“He’s a kid, Steve. Hydra- The man shot him right through like he was nothing, like he wasn’t even there.”</p><p>Steve’s hands were on his shoulder, grounding him and assuring that he was there.</p><p>“We will do better. We will be better for him.”</p><p>Bucky nodded and closed his eyes when Steve’s lips met his.</p><p>“So…” Steve said with a smirk. “We have a kid now?”</p><p>Bucky almost laughed.</p><p>“I think we have a kid now.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Another day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>RJ finally wakes up and so it begins.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I would like to thanks so much whoever read this, before I posted I really thought no one would want to but people actually seemed to like it and I'm so thankfull for that. <br/>Thank you!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Bucky stood by RJ’s bedside every single minute of the day. He would watch over him, paying close attention to the ups and downs of the boy’s chest, catalog every scar on it, the fresh black and blue made by Bucky not even a day ago, some others that were already fading. Steve had cleaned him up a little, but there were still a few blood and dirty on the kid as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think he will wake up at any minute.” Steve that stood at the doorway with his arms crossed said. “He’s going to need a lot of rest, at least a couple of weeks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Since when did you become a doctor?” Bucky took his eyes off RJ for the first time in hours and looked over Steve with a smile on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Since I’ve been patching myself up for a few years.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think he has the serum.” Bucky said after a few minutes of silence. “He has too many scar tissue and bruises for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve nodded. At least Hydra didn’t make him his guinea pig.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A cough caught their both attention. And another one, until RJ’s eyes finally started to flutter open. Steve came a little closer to the bed and saw as the boy looked around the whole room, trying to make sense of where he was and what had happened, until his eyes finally found Bucky.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, buddy.” Bucky said in a soft tone, bringing a smile in Steve’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where am I?” RJ’s voice was raspy and Bucky could see his discomfort, so he motioned for Steve to pick a cup of water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are in my place. Well, Steve’s and mine. I think you know him.” Bucky nodded towards Steve, who was offering RJ the glass of water with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>RJ’s eyebrows narrowed in confusion, noticing Steve for the first time. His breathe hitched in surprise only for a moment, but enough for Bucky to see.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you were dead.” RJ said not taking his eyes off Steve.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, many people think that and I would like to keep it like this if possible.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>RJ took the water and drank it, suspiciously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you feeling?” Bucky asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tired.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“RJ, you were shot on the shoulder by that man. You were asleep for a day and you going to need to be on bed rest for a few more. You are welcome to stay here while recovering and-“ Bucky had to take a minute to calm his nerves down and look at Steve, who nodded. If RJ decided that he wanted to leave that was nothing he could do, he would only had to accept that the boy was not ready yet and move on. “And you are welcome to stay here as long as you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky tried to say the words looking into his eyes, appearing as confident as he could, when in reality he was terrified. He saw so much of him in RJ’s that he didn’t allow himself to think that the boy could not want a life away from Hydra. Now, it all was coming in check, reality would be in front of him in a few seconds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you doing it? I just tried to kill you. I don’t understand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I don’t think you really wanted to kill me and I know what is like to have your life taken away from you, become someone you can barely recognized, but I also know what is like to that it back.” He looked at Steve for support. “I think you want it too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>RJ had become quiet on the bed, head hanging low and eyes focusing on his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… I don’t think that I can do it.” He said it so quietly that Bucky almost couldn’t hear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you can. With the right help and support, you can. It won’t be easy, but I and Steve are going to be here for you for whatever you need.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you are just okay with it?” RJ said looking straight into Steve’s eyes, that didn’t even stutter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bucky really knows how to read people, if he says you are good and deserve a second chance, then you do and I’m 100% in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TJ looked back at Bucky, his eyes were wide, like a puppy who was kicked and now was being offered a pet after a long time. Bucky and Steve would need to be strong, to hold it for RJ when he could not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” RJ nodded, looking at his hands again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s really good RJ.” Bucky smiled and tried to look into his eyes, but all he could see was how tired to kid looked like. “Do you want eat something and then get some rest? Steve made a soup.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy had adjusted himself into the bed, making himself as comfortable as he could. So tired that he couldn’t even speak, only nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna grab it.” Steve said and made his way out of the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>RJ was fast asleep before Steve could make it back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>________________________________</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three of them followed some kind of routine for almost a week. RJ would wake up dazed and tired, Bucky would remind of where he was and what had happened as Steve would provide the both of them whatever he could, sometimes a reassuring nod, a glass of water or a hand on the shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the end of the week, RJ was able to walk around the house, even though he made it to the first floor with some kind of difficulty. This new kind of independence was a blessing and a curse for Bucky. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Buck, we have to accept if someday he wakes up and decides to leave. It’s going to be his choice.” Steve told him at the breakfast table on day 08, when Bucky confessed him that he was scared about RJ’s future with them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But Steve, we both know that the best place for him is with us.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I agree with you, but Hydra took everything from him and made him a prisoner, if we keep him here against his will, just because we want, we are no better than them.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky closed his eyes and accept the words that came from Steve’s. He knew that his lover was right, a few years ago he decided that the best place for him was back in cryo until someone could free him from Hydra. Steve hated it, tried to talk him out of it, but this was his choice. This small moment was one of the biggest victories in his life. Bucky couldn’t take this out of RJ. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, RJ!” Steve greeted the boy that walked into the kitchen with firm steps, looking far away from the kid that got carried into the house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi.” The first sign that the boy was getting better was that he had hardened himself around them. Without even looking at them, RJ sat on the kitchen counter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you like some pancakes?” Bucky asked.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve and Bucky shared a look, both of them trying to support the other as they knew that today was going to be a bad day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“RJ, me and Steve thought it would be a good idea if you started to see a therapist to talk about what happened.” Bucky began when Steve offered the boy a plate full of pancakes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the few days that they spend together, Steve and Bucky found out that RJ liked his pancakes with syrup and his coffee black. He liked to sleep with two pillows and the comfort of a blanket. TV wasn’t really his thing, but he sat on the couch at night and watched movies with Steve and Bucky. The supersoldiers had learned this little things, buried then into their brain and Bucky wasn’t ready to just let it all go someday. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There is nothing to talk about.” RJ said with his mouth full of food. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t talk with your mouth full.” Steve reprimanded him in his Captain America’s voice, the boy raised his eyebrows and shrugged but swallowed before speaking again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think I have something to talk.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, sometimes we don’t even realize that we have to speak with someone about things that we’ve been until we start. It’s up to you, but we really think this is where you should start.” Bucky said and RJ looked right into his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seems to me that you have it already figured it out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, we don’t. It’s your choice, we are only giving you an option.” Steve assured. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” RJ agreed and went back to his breakfast. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve looked at Bucky and nodded as they share a smile. They had already talked to Dr. Samson, one of the best physiatrics there was, according to Sam. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the breakfast went by without any incident and only Steve tried to make a few small talk about they going out to buy clothes for RJ. The boy only nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam kept calling Bucky’s voice during the whole thing, his phone vibrating in the kitchen counter and reverberating on it, catching everyone attention until Steve almost shouted “can you pick it up, please?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky accept the call and excused himself. Sam had been wanting for informations about the man with a white suit, right now S.H.I.E.L.D had gotten almost nothing on him. They needed more intel that only RJ could provide. Because of that, Captain America had been calling him nonstop ever since he said that RJ was getting better. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, Sam.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bucky, you know I hate to do this, but we need answers that this man is just not giving. Could you please talk to your former murder young self?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He has a name, Sam.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, man.” Sam actually sounded desperate. Bucky sighed and told him he would see what he could do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The problem was that Steve had been reading articles and books about fostering kids for the last few days, specifically on how to build trust and a relationship with someone that had been lied to and betrayed. He wouldn’t admit it, but Bucky found out he even joined a forum with adoptive parents on almost the same situation as they were. His partner would given him resumes on his findings and one of the main worries was that if they asked RJ for information about HYDRA, the kid could think they were only taking care of him because of the knowledge he had. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Bucky made it back to the kitchen, he could see that Steve and RJ had listened to at least part of the conversation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you both want to know something about Hydra, just ask me.” RJ said as soon as he saw Bucky. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“RJ, we don’t want you to think that you have to give us something. We are happy to have you here with us and you can share what you know when you feel comfortable.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you rehearsed it?” RJ asked, and the sass Bucky had once hear was on his voice once again. Bucky couldn’t help but smile when Steve rolled his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What Steve is trying to say is that you only have to tell us what you want, we are okay with whatever you give us, even if it’s nothing.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I don’t have much to say.” RJ said pushing himself back on the chair and crossing his arms and spreading his legs, trying to show them that he was calm and that his whole situation wasn’t bothering him. “I’ve never known my father and my mom died when I was five, so ever since I’ve been on foster homes until one of them turned out to be Hydra.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>RJ stopped for a moment and face the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s when I met Mr. Colt, it was like two years ago or something. He told me he could help me, that-” The boy had drifted after that, eyes focusing on the floor and thoughts far away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky looked at Steve that only signaled him to wait a moment. Like a switch had been turned, RJ was back with his careless act, looking at both of them as his leg bounced in a steady rhythm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> “He showed me a few pictures of you, Mr. Barnes. Mr. Colt told me you were the best Hydra ever had, but you were weak and that he would made me better than you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky and Steve sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for sharing it.” Steve broke the silence, approaching the boy and putting a hand on his shoulder. RJ looked at him like the touch surprised him, but it was welcomed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>__________________________________________</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They went to buy clothes for RJ later that day. They looked like a small family, Steve and Bucky would occasionally hold hands and watch as RJ walked a few steps in front of them, hands on his pockets as he looked over the windows shops, just like any other teenager. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“RJ, let’s check this one.” Steve called out as he pointed towards a Urban Outfitters store.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The kid nodded and made his way into the store, Bucky and Steve following close behind. Bucky looked around and decided that he would never buy anything from this place, maybe a short. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really, Steve?” He asked coming from behind Steve that was holding a couple of jeans and some shirts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I saw online that the young people like places like this.” He motion towards RJ that was picking a t-shirt that really looked like something Freddie Krueger would wear. “See? He likes. Defining a style is an import part on his recovery.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to take you out of that forum as soon as possible.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turns out RJ’s style was very similar to Bucky’s, practical and comfortable clothes in dark tones. They walked out of the store with a lot of bags that Steve insisted in carrying by himself. By the time they were done, Bucky’s stomach was already complaining, so they made their way towards the food court. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want to eat?” Bucky asked to the kid that only shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Burguer? A pizza? You can have anything you want.” Bucky insisted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not hungry.” His tone was serious and took Bucky a moment to realize that ever since they left the store, RJ had shut himself. His eyes were far away, didn’t meet Steve or his. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky looked at Steve who understood exactly what he wanted to say. This had been too much. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think we can buy some chicken wings and eat them on our way home. Is that good?” Steve tried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Bucky said, trying to hide his disappointment when RJ only shrugged again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The drive home was quiet, only Steve tried to engage a conversation, sometimes Bucky would envy how well Steve could handle some tough situations and keep himself going, trying his best to light a mood and made people around him feel safe and good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They ate, RJ devoured the food and dismissed himself as soon as he was done and went to his room. Steve and Bucky were left cleaning the dishes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think we did the right thing by taking him to the mall?” Bucky asked once they were done and lying on the couch with the TV on, none of them really paying attention to the news. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do. He needed clothes and to know that we think he can handle himself.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think it triggered something? The conversation we had in the morning and then this?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When he is ready, he’ll tell us. Don’t worry.” Steve said as he pushed a strand of hair out of Bucky’s face. “You are doing an amazing job and RJ is lucky to have you.” Steve said and kissed his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just want to help him to get better.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He will, I don’t know if you know but I do have experience in dealing with former Hydra’s assassins.” Steve said with a smirk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the corner of his eyes, Bucky could see a small bundle of black hair and RJ’s blue eyes sneaking out of the hallway and watching the whole scene. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Mission</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hey everyone! <br/>Hope you guys like this one, thank you for the comments and kudos. Hope you all stay at home and only leave it for fighting rascists!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>RJ had been on the library with Dr. Samson for exactly 50 minutes, ever since they walked into the room Bucky had been sitting on the living room couch, legs bouncing as he tried to listen to any yell, struggle or abnormality that would come from a 16 years old that had killed more than a dozen people.  Steve was by the kitchen making lunch, like nothing was happening. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How can you be so calm?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“RJ agreed with this and I don’t think he would do anything against his will.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But what if-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They heard the lock of the library turning and soon Dr. Samson and RJ’s steps were reverberating on the room, making their way towards the living room. RJ had his hands on his pockets, head high and his usual cocky attitude, walking like nothing in the world could ever bother him. Dr. Samson followed close behind, shoulders relax and a small smile on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is for lunch?” RJ said and sat beside Bucky. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chili, hope you like it.” Steve said, but his eyes were looking towards Dr. Samson. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I think that the session went well. RJ and I have a lot to talk about and I’m really excited for our next meeting.” Dr. Samson said looking at Bucky and Steve. Bucky couldn’t help but want more, wanted to know what they talked about and how he could help the kid that was apparently only wanting to lunch. “I think that next week I can give you both a feedback, but until then… I have another appointment in 30 minutes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve followed the doctor to the door, leaving Bucky and RJ alone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shouldn’t everything I say to him be a secret?” RJ asked Bucky. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, he won’t tell us anything you tell him, only give us an overall look of the things we can help you with.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>RJ looked at his hands and nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“RJ, I did a lot of things that I’m not proud of. People say to me that it’s not my fault, that I wasn’t in a position to choose what I did, but it doesn’t change the fact that it was my hands who did that things. So, I had to learn how to accept it and move on.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s why you take lost causes in your home now?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve had come back into the kitchen and already felt the tension in the air. He looked at Bucky asking him with his eyes what he could do to try and make it better. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“First, I don’t think you are a lost cause and yeah, I think I can try and make up for the things that I did-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice to know I’m helping to ease your conscious.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“RJ, this is not what this is about-” Bucky tried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, Mr. Barnes, I’m not mad for you using me for you personal gain, you’re not the first one to do it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, oh.” Steve interfered once he saw Bucky’s mouth opening without any sound coming out and the dumb expression on his face. “RJ, you know this is nothing like it so don’t try to twist it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The kid just rolled his eyes and huffed. Steve waited a moment and hoped that everyone had calmed down a little to serve lunch. They ate in silence, Bucky would occasionally look at RJ and lower his eyes, clearly upset about what the boy thought of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once they were done, Steve asked RJ if he could wash the dishes, the kid complied with a blank expression. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a tension in the air and when RJ walked out of the kitchen, Steve could see a smirk on his face. He had won the first round, he managed to destabilize Bucky and bring a wall on their relationship. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve could see why Bucky decided to bring RJ in and give the boy another chance, the kid was everything Bucky once was. As soon as Bucky remembered who he was, he had gone away and vanished without a trace, even though he remembered Steve and knew he could help. If Zemo didn’t frame him, Steve would probably never had found him again and life would still be getting in between. That’s just who Bucky was, whenever he was in need for help, he would shut down and bring a edge between them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took a long time for Bucky to start accepting help from others, but even now he would rather work alone and in the shadows, “bothering” his friends was the last thing he wanted, even if said friends would do anything for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve may not know RJ, but he knows Bucky. He knows what to do when Bucky is having one of his bad days, that’s why he knew exactly what needed to be done next. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, that’s enough. RJ come here!” It was almost 9 p.m now and the boy had spend the whole day on his bedroom, Steve and Bucky hadn’t heard a world from him ever since the mess that happened on lunch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky was reading a book by the couch and looked over it as Steve stood up next by the stairs, waiting until RJ came out and met them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, Bucky and the boy were sitting side by side on the couch, with Steve sitting on the armchair in front of it.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“RJ, talk to us. What is bothering you?” Steve asked him, looking straight into the kid’s piercing blue eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I already talked with the doc about it.” RJ said with the same bored expression of always. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but you did not talk to us.” Steve said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky took a deep breath and nodded when RJ looked at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sick of talking.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, what would make you feel better?” Bucky asked him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>RJ was taken aback, his eyes widened and he looked at Bucky’s face for any sign that he was lying, that he was pulling a prank and soon would laugh and say “just kidding”. Bucky knew this expression really well, he used to do it whenever Steve said something that Hydra would never allow, this was the face of hoping things were actually better and fearing that everything being told was just a lie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Came out of the kid’s mouth as a whisper. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you like some video games? Maybe a cell phone or even, I don’t know, to be anywhere else.” Steve said, ignoring Bucky’s face at the suggestion of taking RJ from them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… I don’t understand.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We both understand that you’ve been through a lot and we told you we would help you, so we are by your side for whatever.” Steve said with his usual reassuring smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even if it’s something we don’t like or don’t agree.” Bucky added. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Colt told me he would help me as well. Gave a place to stay and introduced me to people that could help me as well.” RJ threw himself back on the couch, crossed his arms and looked dead serious at Bucky’s. “And look where we ended up.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“RJ,  I know words don’t mean anything to you right now, but we really want to help and I also know that we are asking for too much when we ask you to trust us, but you can believe us when we say that we are not Colt.” Bucky said hoping his words would transmit all the honesty in him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are just being nice so I don’t kill you.” RJ rolled his eyes and threw himself back on the couch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky actually laughed at that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kid, you couldn’t kill me even if you tried.” He said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bucky, please do not dare him.” Steve said, clearly bothered by the twist of events. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve had plenty of chances on the last few weeks.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And why didn’t you do it?” Bucky asked looking into his eyes, the laughter had gone but he still raised his eyebrows and had a smirk on his face when he asked it directly at the kid. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>RJ looked down as if he was searching for the answer himself. It was true, Bucky and Steve had opened their guards, they even slept with their bedroom’s door open. Guns, knifes and even a sword was at reach and RJ would have no trouble at all using them, just like he could had went way at any moment, opened the door and vanish into the world without giving them a second thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I want to stay and see how long until you both give up on me.” RJ said and not even for a moment the words felt true, the supersoldiers could see right through his thought act. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> “Yeah, right.” It had escaped Steve’s lips before he could stop himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The mood in the room was lighter and the words were considered some kind of a joke between them. Bucky couldn’t help but smile a little. Apparently the conversation was over and they decided to leave it like that before RJ could say something that wouldn’t be able to take back or be faced as joke. This whole situation was paper thin, keep pushing was probably not the best approach. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you say about watching a movie?” Steve offered, after a few minutes of silence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I pick?”  RJ asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky did popcorn and they settled to watch an action movie on Netflix, Steve stunned by the amount of blood and curse words on a movie about robbery. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not even the movies about the war had this much blood.” Steve stated when the fake blood splashed on the street. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe if it did you wouldn’t had gone.” RJ said as if it was clear that the war propaganda wouldn’t let it show the reality. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s a good point.” Bucky said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It all looked so normal that send shivers down Bucky’s spine. Therapy taught him to accept the small moments of victories like this one, when we could sat back and laugh at Steve’s face when the man on the screen cursed and RJ looked pleased at the fact that he could shock the former Captain America with his movie choice, but something told him that was a storm coming. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if the world was telling him he was right, his phone lit up and buzzed, indicating that an unknown number was calling him. His heart pounded on his chest, knowing that his time to rest was over and he couldn’t stay inside and play house forever. Grabbing the phone, he excused himself and accept the call. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A client was sure HYDRA had been following him and was about to strike, finish him and make him suffer for betraying its ideals and beliefs. This client, different from Terry, wasn’t stupid. He was careful and followed all Bucky’s recommendations, so if he was saying that HYDRA was following him, he was probably right. With a sigh, Bucky told him to stay on his place and that he would be as soon as possible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned off the phone and made his way back to the living on room and sat on the couch, the movie was about to end and he could use these few minutes to put together a plan. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One of your clients?” Steve asked, movie long forgotten. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. gonna head to Massachusetts in a few. He says Hydra is coming for him, usual stuff.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“RJ, I was thinking you could come with me.” Bucky just said, in his mind it was a good idea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>RJ was clearly surprised by the offer and almost jumped off the couch at the second his brain understood what Bucky was offering, but it was nothing compared to Steve’s reaction. He was eating a popcorn and almost choked on it, he looked at Bucky like he had just kicked him in the lungs or went insane. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you serious?” RJ and Steve said in unison, with pretty differents intonations. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, RJ is a pretty good fighter, has amazing skills and is completely healed from his wound. Why not?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not? Buck!” Steve almost jumped off the couch to face Bucky, “We could’ve talked about it first! You can’t just take him to a mission that you don’t even know what to expect. This could be a trap to take RJ’s back to Hydra, this could be a trap to you!” </span>
</p><p><span>“I’m really into it.” The boy interrupted Steve’s speech with his carefree attitude, ignoring Steve’s rage. “You don’t trust me, Steve?” His tone was taunting, daring Steve to speak.</span><span><br/></span> <span>Now Steve was on the verge of pulling his hair off. “I trust you! I don’t trust them!” </span></p><p>
  <span>“Steve, you are overreacting. It’s a simple check out mission and I trust RJ to be able to handle himself on the field.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice, now I’m the bad guy.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve shook his head in disbelief and made his way out of the room. The end credits were the only thing making some sound in the room as Bucky watched the stairs Steve had walked up with hard footsteps. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, what are we up against?” RJ asked apparently unbothered by the whole situation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky sighed and let him know everything important to the mission. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were packed and ready to go in a few minutes, RJ had picked his sword, a riffle and a bunch of knives from Bucky’s collection.  During the whole time, Steve was in the bedroom and didn’t come out until they were about to get into the car and leave the house. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky was opening the driver’s door as RJ made himself comfortable on the passenger seat when he noticed Steve looking at him from the doorway. Their eyes locked for a moment and Steve told him “be careful” as he always did. Bucky nodded and drove out of the house and into the road. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was already after midnight and the traffic was pretty low, nice enough for them to relax a little. Bucky hated to fight with Steve and hated even more to leave for a mission in not so good terms with him, he was distract and it was even worse for him. If something happened to him or RJ it would weight on Steve’s conscious, he had to be extra careful right now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>RJ put the radio on and was changing stations unbothered by his bad mood. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you really funcional for this mission?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We are people, RJ. We don’t talk about ourselves as in funcional or not funcional.” Bucky said and the kid rolled his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what I’m talking about.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t like fighting with Steve, but sometimes it happens. I won’t let that get in between the mission, if you are wondering.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was not, but it’s good to know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>RJ turned his head and stared out of the window as a song Bucky never heard filled the car. The windows were rolled down and the wind was cold and messing with their hairs but they couldn’t care less, the open road brought a freedom they didn’t feel in a long time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He is not wrong, you know?” RJ pulled Bucky out of his thoughts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Steve?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” The kid crossed his arms and made himself comfortable on the seat. “You shouldn’t trust in me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You never gave any of us reason for not to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I literally tried to kill you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Once.” RJ let out a sigh. “You’d be surprised by the amount of humans and non-humans that tried to as well.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky looked at RJ and laughed at the kid’s annoyed face towards him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You had plenty of chances after that and still didn’t do it, so I assume you don’t really want to kill me. I actually think you like me a little.” Bucky teased him and was pleased when the boy rolled his eyes. “You’re a good kid, me and Steve are lucky to have found you that you let us in your life.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>RJ looked out of the window, but Bucky couldn’t help but notice that he was wiping his eyes, avoiding tears to fall any further his cheeks. If Steve was there he would’ve know the right words to say and comfort the boy that was trying to hide his tears beside him, but Bucky was almost helpless when it came to it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They drove in silence the rest of the way, only the radio would provide some kind of sound. RJ fell asleep a few minutes after their conversation or at least pretended to. The drive wasn’t long and before the sun even raised in the sky they arrived at simple house in the middle of the woods. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as the car was parked, RJ woke up and was alert. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We are here.” Bucky let him know. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They made their way into a cabin in the woods, Bucky went to talk to the guy - Seth - who spoke loud about how some car had been following him for days now as RJ looked over the perimeter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bucky.” RJ called his attention. The kid was looking over the window and into the woods, at the tree lines. “I think that’s something in there.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Bucky could analyze, two black holes in the air were made and white hands came out of it and tried to grab Seth that ducked. Bucky and RJ ran and were able to push whatever it was from the holes. In front of them, a figure that looked like a man, all white with black dots showed up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Barnes, right? Weird I’ve never met you before.” The figure said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky’s mind reminded him that in front of him was a mutant or whatever called Spot. “I guess that’s a first time for everything.” Bucky said. “His name is Spot-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know who he is.” RJ almost yelled, Glock on his hand already.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon the whole place was mess. Portals shaped like black dots surrounded them and Spot moved through them, punching and hurting them all he could. Bucky could only see as a fist came towards him, way too fast him to even think. He could already taste blood on his mouth, still, he kept thinking if RJ was hurt, he would never forgive himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“RJ! Get Seth to the car and out of here” He said as kept trying to shoot Spot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The punches kept coming in a organized order. Bucky paid close attention and before Spot could move again, he grabbed the man by waist and threw him on the ground, giving RJ and Seth enough time to run to the door. But the ground never came. Bucky and Spot walked through a portal that took them to another world, Spot’s world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There he was stronger, faster and Bucky was just a punching bag. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky was already lying on the floor, way too weak, needing a moment to breathe when he heard gunshots being fired. Just like him, RJ had walked into a portal and made his way into Spot’s world in way better manner them Bucky. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was firing and distracting Spot long enough for Bucky to catch his breath and charge his metal arm, once it was good enough to electrocute he ran and punched Spot on the face enough to bring him down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In a few moments Spot was restrained and outside the cabin, being watched by RJ. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you look at him for a while?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>RJ nodded, taking his order really serious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky walked a few steps away and put his phone out of his pocket, dialing Steve’s phone. His partner picked up on the first ring. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you guys?” Steve asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve all got some bumps and bruises, this Hydra guy, Spot, was able to get some punches in but we are fine.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Glad to hear it.” The sun was already shining bright on the sky, illuminating the trees as Bucky was hearing Steve’s unsure voice on the phone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Steve- I’m sorry.” Bucky decided to be the first one to break. In the end everything had went well, RJ had really came through, probably saved his life and now the kid had a stupid grin on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just come back home, please.” Steve begged. “I’m gonna ask Fury to bring a team to take care of Spot.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry too, by the way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky ended the call and watched as RJ looked at him with a smile on his face. Even if his face was swollen and beaten, the soldier laughed at the kid’s happiness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In case I didn’t say it before… Thank you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I like you a little bit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe.” Bucky smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just maybe.” RJ repeated.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Memories</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hi, everyone! I tried to bring Steve and RJ closer in these chapter and make them interact a little bit more. <br/>Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Bucky woke up at the sound of his own heart beating, it was a loud noise that was pounding in his skull, making his brain hurt. He put his hands on his head and curled himself, letting out a yell. There was movement around him and he felt as the mattress moved and Steve’s body appeared on his peripheral vision. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” Steve’s voice was carried with worry.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Head hurts.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna grab some medicine.” The mattress moved again and he heard as the bathroom’s door was open, the light turn on and Steve started to look for the medicine. Being a supersoldier had its perks, he could run faster than anyone else, he would heal really fast, eyesight was incredible good, hearing even better. Right now the last one was a curse sat upon to kill him in the slowest way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here.” Steve handled him some pill that he gladly took. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thankfully he and Steve knew themselves pretty well, good enough for Steve to know that whenever Bucky was in pain he didn’t like any kind of touch, he was better being laid out to suffer on his own. But Steve would still seat close to him, accidentally touch him sometimes, until he felt better. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time the headache took longer to pass. There were some things he couldn’t just leave behind, just like the scars on his chest to his shoulder, his brain had marks made by his time on Hydra. They fried his brain so much that it actually made long lastings effects that sometimes wake him up in the middle of the night and remind him that it was all real. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whenever this would happen his friend depression would come with it as well. Everything would come crashing down on him, all he did, everyone he hurted. He would see the faces of the one he hurted, he could feel their blood on his hand, hear their voices, smell the chemicals on their bodies. It was all too much. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t, don’t cry my love.” He heard Steve’s voice calming him down, touching him enough to ground him and not let him fall any further on his memories. “We are in Brooklyn, 2024. You are James Buchanan Barnes and I’m your husband, Steve. We live together in Brooklyn with RJ.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky nodded, letting Steve know that the words were working, that he was listening. After a few moments, maybe hours, he was calm enough, but decided that he would stay on the bed for the rest of the day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to call your therapist?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think so?” His voice came out worse than he expected. “I just need to rest.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve did not know what time it was, but he knew that the morning was almost coming upon them and that he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep. So he stood by Bucky’s side until he was sure that his husband was deep asleep and decided that he would go for a jog. Grabbing a post-it he left a note by the bedside, letting him know where he would go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Steve kissed his temple and put some pants above his underwear, took a last glance at Bucky’s sleeping form and walked out of the door as quiet as possible.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He made his way to the room at the end of the hallway. It was their spare room, a simple room with light blue walls that they put a bed in it in case any of their friends decided to spend the night or needed a place to stay. As soon as he opened the door, he realized it was not a spare room anymore, it was RJ’s room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were some clothes on the floor, papers on the desk and some guns close by the bed. The room had been claimed by RJ and Steve didn’t have a problem with it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The kid was underneath the cover so Steve could not know if he was asleep or not. He approach him and softly called his name. A few seconds later, RJ was stretching on the bed and looking at Steve with sleepy eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey. Good morning. I’m going for a run and was wondering if you wanted to come with me. Then, we can get some breakfast.” Steve offered with a smile on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>RJ nodded and told him that he would be ready in a minute. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In a few minutes RJ and Steve were jogging through the neighborhood and into the Brooklyn bridge. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How fast can you run?” Steve asked at RJ, that had been following him in a nice speed, even though Steve wasn’t holding back that much. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, probably not as fast as you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wanna test?” Steve said with a smirk, already picking up the pace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They ran passing through a couple of girls that looked stunned at how fast they were, RJ was doing his best to catch up and even though he had no serum in him he handled himself pretty well until he tired himself out before Steve could even break a sweat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughing, Steve slowed down and went back a few to meet RJ that was holding his knees, breathing hard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I must say, you did better than I expected.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You run fast for someone who is retired.”  RJ said through deep breathes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like to keep myself young.” Steve smirked. “Come on! There is a coffee place not far from here… I mean, if you can walk to there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How come no one killed you already?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve just laughed as they walked to the coffee shop to have breakfast. It was a simple place not that different from the others one all around the US. They got a table next by the window and waited until a waitress came to meet them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, what you guys going to have today?” The lady with a smile on her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Black coffee, some pancakes with honey, please. RJ?” Steve said pulling the menu down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Steve paid attention to the boy, he was white as a sheet, was sweating way harder than he did on the bridge and his whole body was shaking. A smile that was on Steve’s face faded and a worried expression took its place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, RJ. Are you okay?” The kid didn’t seem to listen to him, his eyes were glassy and fixed somewhere else far away. “RJ! Hey!” He tried again without any success.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve left his place and crouched down beside RJ. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to call an ambulance?” The waitress said with a worried shaky voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I think he’s gonna be fine in a few, he just needs to breath for a moment.” Steve knows this look pretty well, something had triggered a memory and now RJ was having a dissociation episode. The waitress understood that Steve knew how to handle the situation and stood back, watching the scene unfold with a few other curious. “Hey, RJ. You are with me, Steve, at Brooklyn, New York. I woke up you this morning and we went for a run, you ran really fast and then we came here to buy breakfast.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve repeated this for a few times until RJ looked into his eyes and recognized him. The kid’s eyes looked around the coffee, coming back to reality after a few blinks. Tears were falling down his eyes, but he didn’t bother wiping them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi kid.” Steve tried to smile a little. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we go home?” RJ said in a small voice and Steve tried to hide his surprise and joy as he heard the kid referring to their house as a home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna call a car, ok? Do want have some water? Something with sugar maybe?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>RJ nodded and quietly told him he wanted a water. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thankfully the Uber didn’t take long and after 15 minutes they were crossing the front door and RJ laid on the living room couch. Whatever he remembered must had taken a toll on him, because now the boy was quiet and very very far away on his own thoughts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve let out a sigh and thought of Bucky being upstairs with almost the same problem. He ran his hands through his hair, drank a juice that he found on the fridge and went to check on Bucky that was still sound asleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he went downstairs, he made a call. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Sam.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Steve? What happened, is everything okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t I call to say hi to a friend?” Steve asked with a small smile on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Steve, I can’t remember the last time you called me only because you missed me.” Sam said and Steve knew there was no malice in his words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe…” Steve let out a sigh. “Bucky had a tough night and the kid we’ve been taking care of, RJ, just had a episode, something triggered him and he went away for a while on a coffee while we were having breakfast. I think I need your help.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna be there by lunch.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, man.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve put his phone down and went to see RJ. The boy was lying on the couch, his arm covered his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, how are you feeling?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve had startled him and soon apologized for it, when the boy finally looked at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine… Sometimes it happens when I’m talking to Dr. Samson, but today was just…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Out of nowhere?” Steve tried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>RJ nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where is Bucky?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He is not feeling really well, so he is resting.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was it the beating he took last mission?” RJ’s eyes were worried and apologetic, almost as he if he was blaming himself for Spot showing up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no. Believe me he had worse than that.” Steve said before he could say anything else. “Did I ever thank you for saving his life?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No need.” RJ said and threw himself back on the couch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a pause between them, where Steve just looked at the boy in front of him, analyzing his features and searching for any sign of pain and discomfort. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I killed my first person in Hydra on a dinner.” RJ busted out, even though he spoke the words like it was nothing, Steve could feel how much these words weighted on him. There was a guilt, shame and hurt at his tone. “Mr. Colt- Colt, just told me to kill a couple of people that were sitting on the back, they were having breakfast and I murdered them. I bathed in their blood, Steve. It was all over me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, RJ.” Steve felt his heart breaking as RJ sobbed his way through the words and his body trembled. Steve did what he thought was right, he pulled RJ in the tightest hug he could manage without hurting him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish I was like Bucky, I wish a had an excuse. But I’m just a murder.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy kept crying and crying and Steve only let it go when he had calmed down a little. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“RJ, you’re not a murder. You’re just a kid who had really though time and did what had to do survive. Did you want to kill those people?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy shook his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then you’re not bad, RJ. You were just lost.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Steve finally looked over Bucky was on the hallway looking over the scene with a tender expression on his face, calmly he walked towards them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is everything okay?” Bucky asked, his voice was still hoarse. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, RJ here just had a tough time remembering something.”  Steve said and the boy just nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just in time the doorbell rang and Steve knew pretty well who it was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are we expecting someone?” Bucky asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A friend.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Steve opened the door Sam was there, as soon as Bucky saw a smiled formed on his face. RJ looked over and tried to figure out what Captain America was doing there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam walked into the room, hugged Bucky and stopped in front of RJ, who was already standing up, the only sign that he had been crying was the few wet spots on his face that he wasn’t able to wipe. Steve thought about how well RJ could fake, an actor so good in what he was doing that Steve made a mental note to always double check before believing anything he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, I’m Sam.” Sam introduced himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“RJ.” He said. “I remember you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I remember you too, good to see you healed.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They shook hands and soon Sam was with them at the table, lunch being set in place. It has been a while since Sam had been over, so they had a lot to catch up to, Bucky seem to forget about his headache as Sam keeps making him laugh telling him some crazy stories about this new S.H.I.E.L.D. Steve steals glances at RJ that still has a serious and vacant expression on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bucky Jr., are you liking it here?” Sam asked and the whole table became silent all of sudden. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I think.” The kid without looking at any of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are these guys treating you well?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better than Hydra.” RJ shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think that’s a difficult thing to accomplish, right?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>RJ dared to smile at that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the lunch went well, RJ did not try to engage in any conversation, instead he stood back like a quiet listener. Steve tried to get him to open up, but it just wasn’t happening and Bucky wasn’t having that good of a day to try any harder, apparently just getting out of bed and having this lunch at taken a great toll in him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time they were all done, Bucky excused himself and told them he would try and get some rest, because his headache was still killing him. Steve followed him shortly after, saying he would check if he was really okay. That left RJ alone with Sam for the first time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, how-” Sam started but was abruptly interrupt by RJ. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have Mr. Colt, right?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, he’s is S.H.I.E.L.D. custody right now, pretty well locked up if you ask me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He has contacts outside, Hydra is still out there, so you should be careful.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We are aware of that, but thank you for thinking about it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam made his way towards the backyard and sat on a bench, nodding for RJ to do the same. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know this guys think the world of you, right?” Sam asked as tender as he could. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They think I’m someone I’m not.” RJ rolled his eyes and tried to make it like it was not a big of a deal, hoping Sam wouldn’t see his tears falling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They think I’m some kind of a poor kid who was… I don’t know, manipulated into Hydra. I knew what I was doing, I’m not like Bucky, they didn’t need to use a machine to fry my brains.” The words came out with a lot of hatred and self hate, more than Sam’s ever thought it was possible. “But they both still find excuses to think I’m worth saving.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what do you think they should do with you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy threw his head back and looked at the sky above them, there almost no clouds and the sun was shining bright. He could see a few birds flying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know.” Was his honest answer. “But I know that I’m afraid that if they find out all the things that I’ve done they will… kick me out or something.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>RJ tried his best to stop the tears from falling, but it was too late. He hated the fact that he had became this, this weak and small boy who cried about anything. Hydra had put him through the worst humiliations possibles; for a while he had to eat food out of the floor, like a dog you throw the leftover to, and he wouldn’t cry about it. They would beat him, spank him, and use him as they pleased but he didn’t cry about it. Now, he had gotten lucky, Bucky and Steve treated him really well, gave him options and respect him like equal and for some reason he couldn’t stop crying about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think they will ever do something like this with you.” Sam reassured him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did Colt told you anything about me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A few, yes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then you know that I don’t deserve any of this.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t see it yet, but I see a kid that was abused and betrayed by those who should protect him and the guy he was send off to kill was the one that took him in and gave him an opportunity.  I think that’s must be really confusing.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just wanted…” RJ cut himself before he could say something he regret. For some reason he felt like he could talk to Sam, that Sam would not judge him or throw him out. Maybe that’s why Steve told him to come, Sam was a neutral person, even though he was Steve and Bucky’s friend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did you want, RJ?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just wanted to be wanted.” Now he had to hide his face on his hands. “I remember my mom, not much, but I remember she used to hug me and tell me I was going to grow to be an amazing person. She would love and ever since she gone away… No one did that. No one believed in me, but Hydra did, they told me I had potential.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But they didn’t give you love.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>RJ shook his head. “I have this thing inside of me. This darkness, hate, I don’t know. It consumes me, I’m angry all the time and it makes me think, what if they saw that I was bad? What if they were right? What if I don’t deserve love?” The last part he said looking into Sam’s eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then I don’t, as well. Because I’ve done some bad stuff too. Steve did, Bucky did even before Hydra got him, things people would find immoral and bad. We’ve killed people for the greater good in wars, even hurted friends for what we believed, and we get angry sometimes, and we hate and lose control as well, but in the end of the day, all that matters is putting a feet in front of the other and try and be a better person.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You and Steve rehearse these things?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It comes with being Captain America.” Sam smiled and RJ chuckled. “In all honesty, kid, Bucky and Steve wouldn’t let you into their lives if they thought you were not worth saving. Take this chance and make the best out of it, a lot of people don’t have it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They kept talking for a while, but nothing as big as RJ confessions were said. It was as casual as it could be, if not for the favorites weapons and how to proper use a shield as a boomerang. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam’s phone buzzed and he had to excuse himself, RJ would be lying if he said he wouldn’t miss Sam. This small moment with him was good and brought something he didn’t know he was needing, maybe he should talk to his therapist about it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>RJ came back inside the house and slowly made his way to Steve and Bucky’s bedroom, opening the door carefully. Bucky was asleep on the bed and Steve was by his side reading a book. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sam already left?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“An emergency came up.” RJ replied. “How is he?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Should be fine in a few hours. He had worse.” Steve kept looking at him. “Do you want to sit on the bed with us? You can pick a book and read with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy considered for a moment and nodded. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Getting serious</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hello, everyone! Hope you're doing well during these times!<br/>Thank you all so much for the kudos and comments. </p>
<p>All mistakes are mine :D</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“</p>
<p>
  <span>RJ in position” Bucky heard in his communication. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The darkness of the night surrounded Illinois as Bucky stood on a building’s rooftop, looking down at a warehouse entrance. RJ was not far from there, covering the other entrance. Sam had called them yesterday, asking if they could help S.H.I.E.L.D. dismantle a Hydra’s reunion. Even though Bucky was trying his best to avoid getting caught up on any government mess, he owned Sam plenty of favors. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the last person walked into the warehouse, Bucky waited a few moments until he was sure everyone had gotten in. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>-Now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bucky said as he jumped off the roof and landed in front of the door, busting it with his legs. The door flew away, calling everyone’s attention. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good night.” Bucky said seconds before a bunch of people came towards him. Some had guns and decided to shoot towards him, but they were all pretty inexperienced and their aims were all really bad, to be honest. This was not Hydra, this was a bunch of Hydra wannabes. Still, he didn’t pull any punch. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Some decided to run towards the other entrance, only to see RJ stopping them from going anywhere. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not far, Bucky could see as RJ threw punches, kicked, and avoid being hit. Until a man caught him by surprise, with a sharp object Bucky could not identify, the man hit RJ’s head, making the boy yell in pain. Bucky tried to run towards him but was avoided by four men trying to punch him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bucky let out a sigh and had to take care of them before he could make his way towards RJ, who had already recovered from the blow. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you good?” Bucky ran, checking the wound that was bleeding as best as he could while people still tried to punch and hurt both of them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Had worse.” He heard RJ saying as he got another one unconscious. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To bring everyone down took them less than 30 minutes; the neo-Nazis were immobilized and S.H.I.E.L.D was already waiting outside with cars, reinforcements, and a bus to take them all to jail. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>By the time it was all over and done, Bucky saw RJ sitting on the bad of one of the S.H.I.E.L.D’s car, away enough from the crowd and mess that the place had become. His clothes were dirty with blood that was coming out of his head wound.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey! Are you hurt?” He said, touching the back of RJ’s head, where the hair was a mess of dried blood, causing RJ to wince. “Sorry.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine. I’m more hurt because one of these idiots could make me bleed.” RJ said with an annoyed voice. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, your pride is safe with me. We can tell Steve they were three times your size.” Bucky said, joking. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I hate you.” RJ said, crossing his arms. Bucky laughed because there was no malice on those words, they had reached a point where they could tease each other with stuff like these and know that the other did not mean it. In fact, it probably meant the opposite. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a moment something Bucky couldn’t point his fingers on flashed through RJ’s face. Before it, the boy had an almost smile, his eyes were happy, but after that, it was like he caught himself doing something wrong and retrieved something inside of him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nice to see that you are in a good mood.” Sharon Carter came walking towards them, hair in a ponytail and her usual fierce expression on her face. “We know this is below your pay grade, so thank you so much for coming to help us.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about it, Sharon. It’s always nice to beat some Nazis.” Bucky said shaking her hand. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You must be RJ. Nice meeting you.” She said with a smile on her face, turning towards the boy. “I’m Sharon.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi.” RJ said, still annoyed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This seems like a nasty cut, wanna me to ask the paramedics to come and check on you?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No need, it’ll be healed by the end of the week.” RJ said, dismissing it. “I think it already stopped bleeding.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Already?” Sharon looked surprised and eyed Bucky. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, it stopped bleeding; just a gauze or a large Band-Aid will be enough.” Bucky said, paying close attention to the wound. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sharon looked at him suspiciously, her brows knitting on her face and they stood silent for a moment. Bucky knew it was strange, that a wound like that should not look like this, but RJ had a fast metabolism but it was not at all like Bucky or Steve’s. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok, if you say you are fine…” Sharon said after a moment. “I gotta check the arrests, but can Bucky call me in tomorrow, okay?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bucky nodded and Sharon made her way out; leaving him alone with RJ that looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What was that?” The kid asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Was she up to something?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think she was up to anything.” but Bucky still couldn’t get his eyes off Sharon that was close by the bus where people were still being loaded. “Let’s just go home.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bucky said and soon they were on their way towards the house on Brooklyn. </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>*******************************</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>RJ had just walked into the library to begin another session with Dr. Samson when Bucky called Steve to their bedroom and said the thing that kept him up all night. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you think RJ has the serum?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Steve asked with clear confusion on his face. “I honestly thought you called me here to have sex.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Bucky asked this time and Steve just shrugged. “Yesterday, someone hit RJ on the back of his head, not only he acted like nothing had happened a few minutes after it but it’s healing fast.” Bucky decided to keep going and ignore Steve.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve sat on the edge of the bed as Bucky stood up talking. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know, don’t think so?” Was Steve’s answer. “I mean, he’s not a usual kid, that’s for sure, but I don’t see anything that would make him a supersoldier.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, you didn’t see it in me back on WWII as well.” Bucky said and wished he could take the words back as soon as he saw that Steve had misinterpreted it. “No, not like that!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve shook his head and waved his hand as he looked down on his feet. “I know what you mean.” He said after letting out a sigh. His voice was rough and he still did not look at Bucky’s eyes. It has been years, but Bucky still knew that he blamed himself for what had happened, maybe if he realized that Bucky was different, faster, better, he would’ve come back and looked for him. But now, it was all maybes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ve never met RJ before Hydra, so we don’t know anything about him other than the superficials.” Bucky kept going, trying to push Steve out of his head. “What if they’ve done something with him?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But don’t you think he would’ve remembered something?” Steve finally looked at him. “The serum is not something you just take, it changes everything you once were. He would’ve known, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What if it didn’t work properly? I mean, he still has scars and is not as fast as you and I.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So you think he has a Walmart version of the serum in him?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know? Maybe?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve ran his hands through his face, looking at Bucky who looked as conflicted as he was. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s talk to him. I think that’s the best thing we could do.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know he does not like to talk about his time in Hydra.” Bucky side-eyed him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If he doesn’t speak, we respect that and move on.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you think we can do it?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No. But we at least have to try.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When they walked out of the bedroom, RJ and Dr. Samson were leaving the library as well, they looked at them walking down the stairs and RJ said “gross.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not-” Steve tried to begin, but Bucky said to him let it go. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dr. Samson talked to them for a few minutes, considering the breakdown that had happened last week and gave them a few tips on what they could do to make the boy more comfortable at their house. There was nothing they did not know yet, maybe their own experience with PTSD and Hydra had made them fit them to help someone in this situation. But a question Dr. Samson asked took them back: </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you guys plan on adopting?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They had not thought about it until now, RJ had been living with them for almost two months now and had completely walked into their routine. It was already a strange concept for Bucky to go on missions without “his partner” or to watch a movie in the living room without the kid by his side complaining.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I think you guys should think about it. RJ is adapting quite well with you and I don’t see any other family that could be better for him. He needs a constant and safe place that he can always come back to” Samson spoke calmly. “I see he has a lot of problems and traumas involving foster care and abandonment issues, so I think you should consider it. Not now, but soon.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bucky looked at Steve trying to find an answer in him, but all he saw a reflection of his thoughts on his husband’s face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dr. Samson let himself out of the door, wishing them a good day and telling RJ he would be back next week. The man walked out like he hadn’t said anything at all as he had just stated the obvious. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Whenever he would go out of the therapy, RJ would be quiet and spend the rest of the day in his room, only getting out only for eating or going to the bathroom. Steve and Bucky had given up trying to bring him to spend time with them after Dr. Samson told them that the kid only needed a moment to process everything and they should respect that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Therefore, today was almost impossible for them to talk to RJ about the serum or anything else for the matter. When they heard Rj’s door closing they decided to call Sharon. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Carter.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Sharon.” Steve and Bucky greet her on the speaker. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi, guys. How’s it going?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine, we just wanted to talk to you about yesterday.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah. Is RJ fine?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, it’s almost completely healed and yesterday you seemed suspicious about it.” Bucky brought the subject over. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I just don’t think a teenager should heal that fast, it’s almost like you both.” Sharon said and they could hear some worry on her voice. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So you think he may have the serum or some version of it?” Steve asked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Steve, I think you guys should bring him over so S.H.I.E.L.D doctors could analyze his blood, just to be sure.” Sharon said and Bucky and Steve looked at each other. “If he has it, he will find out.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, Sharon. We will talk to him about it.” Bucky said and turned off. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve and Bucky looked at each other. They shared a look that spoke more than words ever could and Steve smirked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The adoption was another subject they had in mind, but it was better to discuss it only when RJ was better. Bucky knew that Steve was okay with it, or at least had been okay with the boy staying over for the last two months without any complaints and that he wanted RJ to stay away as much as he wanted. Maybe he was wrong, but he didn’t think so.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They tried to make their way into their normal routine, without RJ close by.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At lunchtime, Bucky decided to knock on the boy bedroom’s door. There was no movement behind it or any sign that RJ had heard it, so he decided to open it once he saw it was unlocked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m coming in.” He announced once he walked into the bedroom and saw RJ laying on the bed, back towards him and facing the wall. “Do you want to eat? Steve made lasagna.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not hungry.” Came out muffled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay.” Bucky looked around. The room was a mess, there was a pizza box near the computer they had given RJ and some clothes on the floor. Bucky loved it. “Do you think you can join us? We like your company.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m tired from yesterday, I think I’ll sleep.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bucky nodded even though he knew that RJ could not see him. “Are you having any headache, dizziness or anything like this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I’m fine.” RJ said in a voice carried away with anger and annoyance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, I’m leaving, but if you want to talk, we are here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bucky let himself out of the room and met with Steve who was sitting on the kitchen island.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s not feeling well, let’s try another day.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>However, the next day was no better. If RJ left his room, Steve and Bucky did not see. The supersoldiers would walk into the room to bring the boy some snacks or food, but most of the time it would stay untouched until one of them took it out of the room. RJ would avoid looking at them whenever they walked into the room, and only once Bucky saw the boy’s following him out of the room as silent tears slipped out of it and into his pillow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>By the third day, any of them could take it anymore and Bucky had to held Steve back from busting into RJ’s room and dragging him out of there. They had taken a deep breath, calmed themselves, and knocked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“RJ, could you please come to have dinner with us?” Steve asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We miss you, kid. Just sit on the table and eat a little, is all we are asking.” Bucky added up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It took the boy a few moments to get up from the bed and stand up, looking at both of them with his usual attitude.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Happy?” RJ asked and it was the first time they had heard the boy’s voice in almost three days.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So much. Thank you.” Steve asked and nodded for them to leave.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They sat on the table and the room had a heavy atmosphere in it. Nevertheless, they all decided to make the best of it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hungry?” Bucky asked, offering him food.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>RJ nodded and stood quiet during the whole thing, avoiding any kind of eye contact towards them. It was hard for Bucky to ignore it and wait for him to eventually talk about what has been bothering him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> “You guys have your serious face, what’s happening?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Something that can wait until you’re better.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine. I just… I don’t know, I don’t like talking about feelings and stuff, it seems like he puts words in my mouth, but turns out he is occasionally right about it.” RJ explained.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know the feeling, kid.” Bucky said looking at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Something in particular that made you so quiet?” Steve pushed a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>RJ just shook his head. “So, what do you guys want to talk about?”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How is your head?” Steve said pointing to the band Aid that covering part of the back of his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine, it healed already.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No concussion symptoms or anything?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope.” RJ said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bucky and Steve shared a look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” RJ interrupted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you always heal this fast?” Bucky asked as calmly as he could.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, no, no, no. I know where you are going, just no.” RJ said through wide eyes and shaky breaths.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“RJ, we just think it’s a little bit weird.” Steve tried to reason with him. “I’m sorry if we caused you any distress, we were just wondering-“</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No! You were talking behind my back and were discussing me. I bet you all even have your answer yet.” RJ stood up and paced on the room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, no. I promise you it is not like this, I promise you. Do you trust us?” Bucky asked, standing up as well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The boy stopped on his tracks. His eyes focused on Bucky and Steve, looked at them, and slowly nodded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So I promise you, we did not decide anything on your behalf. Your life is yours and me and Steve can only help you, maybe help you decide something, but we will not decide your future.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>RJ nodded again, this time his eyes watered with tears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry… I don’t know.” RJ said between shaky breaths. “I don’t know what happened, I’m sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay, kid.” Bucky came closer and slowly brought RJ into his arms. “It’s okay. Everything is fine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When RJ broke the hug he had stopped crying and looked at Steve and Bucky and after a few seconds, he sat back on the chair he was eating previously.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You guys will leave me eventually, don’t you?” RJ spoke, looking into the ground.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bucky and Steve looked at each other and quickly they rushed to RJ’s side.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“RJ, we wouldn’t do it. We love you and we want you to stay with us.” Steve started and looked for Bucky for approval.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ve been thinking about starting the adoption process, so you could be with us officially.” Bucky completed Steve’s words and it looked like a pound had just lifted off their shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>RJ looked at them confused as someone could, his eyes did not believe in what he was seeing and his ears had listened everything all wrong.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?” was the sound that came out of his mouth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Really? RJ, we have, well at least Steve and I, think we’ve been a family for a while now. So why not make this official?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>         The boy took a huge breathe and looked at the ceiling as his legs were moving up and down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>         “Are you doing this because you pity me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>         “What? No! RJ… We love you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>         The boy looked at his shoes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>         “I remembered Colt telling me that I would only deserve love if I got my full potential. Only then someone would love me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve looked at Bucky, whose face was showing a mixture of anger towards Colt and empathy to RJ.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> “There’s a lot of things that Colt was wrong about, this is one of them. You deserve love, not because you are excellent in missions or because you may have the serum in you. You deserve love because of the amazing kid you are; we would be proud and happy to be your parents.” Steve said and Bucky loved him a little bit more for always knowing what to say.   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You won’t leave me?” RJ sounded like a little kid frightened by a thunderstorm in the middle of the night, the sound of it broke Bucky’s heart. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We don’t plan on that.” Steve assured him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a moment of silence between them, but this time it was comfortable. Just a moment for them to think about what had happened. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought you would leave me.” RJ said one more time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why would you think that?” Bucky asked and RJ just shrugged. Steve remembered what Dr. Samson had said, about RJ needing a safe place to know that he wouldn’t be thrown away after this was no longer a new and exciting thing when this became their normal.</span>
</p>
<p>&lt;&gt;<br/>  <span>“You’re staying with us until you grew tired of us, kid. We promise you that.” Steve told him and RJ nodded, a few tears escaped his eyes and Bucky and Steve knew that the boy had believed him, now they had to make everything possible to not bring the boy down.</span><br/>&lt;&gt;</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Let the games begin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Just a little bit shorter than the other chapters, but this one is more like an introduction. I hope you guys like it! <br/>Lots of love.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters is nothing like it once was. The big and impotent building not far from DC was long gone ever since that day. The day Bucky broke free. Now, Bucky felt a weird feeling on his guts as he walked into the much smaller building with RJ by his side and towards Sharon, who was waiting for them not far from the entrance. </p><p>“Hey, guys.” Sharon greeted them. </p><p>“Hi, Sharon.” Bucky said when they stopped in front of her and put a hand on RJ’s shoulder, reminding him to talk to her as well. <br/><br/></p><p>“Hi.” RJ said, putting his hands on his pockets and rolling his eyes towards Bucky. <br/>Bucky had spent a lot of time with RJ to know when the kid was nervous and put his walls up. After a long conversation, the boy had decided to accept Sharon’s offer and go to S.H.I.E.L.D so the doctors could check if he had some version of the serum on his blood or not. The kid told them that he did not remember anything about syringes, blue liquids on his veins, or excruciating pain because of it.  </p><p><br/>They walked towards an elevator in silence for most of the time, Sharon asked occasional questions about Steve and tried to start some small talks, but RJ was too tense for it, what meant that Bucky was tense too. </p><p><br/>He knew the implications of someone doing something on your body without any consent. His serum, his arm, things that made him better, faster, but all for the wrongs reasons. He looked down and saw RJ’s vacant eyes staring ahead. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Hey, it will be okay. Don’t worry.” Bucky said and pressed his hand on the boy’s shoulder a little bit tighter. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>As if he remembered that he did not care about this situation, RJ’s eyes came back into focus and he tightens himself up. <br/><br/></p><p>“Yeah, I know.” <br/><br/></p><p>Bucky shook his head and looked at Sharon who had a smile on her face. <br/><br/></p><p>“He reminds me of two guys I know.” <br/><br/></p><p>The door opened and they walked towards some kind of a lab, people in a white coat surrounded them and Bucky swallowed hard and could see as RJ had stopped for a moment. <br/><br/></p><p>“You don’t have to do it if you don’t want.” Bucky reminded the kid. <br/><br/></p><p>“I want to.” RJ gave him a sharp nod and walked in confidence steps behind Sharon.</p><p>Bucky sighed and joined him. Sharon took them to a room that looked like a doctor’s exam room. She told RJ where to sit and they waited until a young woman with a white coat came up. <br/><br/></p><p>“Hello, I’m Dr. Samantha Pearson. You must be RJ.” She gave a smile and stented her hand so RJ could shake it. “So, today we will just take a blood sample and I believe that in three days we will be done analyzing it and then we can tell you if we find any unusual substances in it, sounds good?”<br/><br/></p><p>“So not today?” RJ looked at her with interest. <br/><br/></p><p>“No, we need to put it on a machine and check on it, have some scientists to compare it with your… father?” She said unsure as she looked at Bucky and RJ shrugged. “If it matches, we can confirm it.” <br/><br/></p><p>RJ nodded and put his arms up as she approached and tried to find a vein. Unlike the doctors in Hydra, she told him exactly what she would do before doing it. Bucky could not keep his eyes of the boy who was trying to play tough in front of them. <br/><br/></p><p>“Okay, we are done.” RJ flexed his arm and got up off the chair and giving Bucky’s space to sit. <br/><br/></p><p>The doctor performed the same procedure she had just done with RJ on his real arm. <br/><br/></p><p>They walked out of the building after 20 minutes and walked into Bucky’s truck. RJ was still distant, maybe he expected to walk out of there with some answers instead of nothing. Bucky was looking over him when the boy’s face changed, his eyes were wide and he shouted: “Bucky, stop!”<br/><br/></p><p>Bucky hit the brakes with excessive strength and only thanks to the seatbelts; they did not hit the car’s panel.  It took Bucky a moment to see what made RJ get his attention. In the middle of the street, right in front of the car, a small white kitten stood. It was completely terrified; all curled up and, if it were a human, Bucky would say it was in shock. <br/><br/></p><p>The soldier walked out of the car and made his way towards the kitten. When it saw Bucky approaching, it tried to run, but Bucky was much faster than it was. Without almost any problem, he got it into his hands, and it was so small that Bucky was afraid that any wrong movement could break some bone and kill it. RJ had walked out of the car as well and watched as Bucky held the kitten who did not stop meowing and trying to break free for a second. <br/><br/></p><p>Bucky could hear honks from behind them and it made him remember that they were in the middle of the street. Fast, he walked back into the car, still holding the kitten on his hand, sat on the passage seat, and handled it to RJ. <br/><br/></p><p>“You really do like to bring strays home, don’t you?” <br/><br/></p><p>Bucky rolled his eyes and drove off. <br/><br/></p><p>During the whole path, the kitten had stopped yelling and hid behind RJ’s back. <br/><br/></p><p>“Stop doing it.” RJ said, but was amused when the kitten started to try climbing his shirt.  “Stop.” A few giggles came out of the boy. <br/><br/></p><p>“Do you think it’s female or male?” Bucky asked. <br/><br/></p><p>“It’s an asshole, that’s for sure.” More giggles. “Stop, you have big claws for something this small.” <br/><br/></p><p>Bucky couldn’t help but smile at the scene. <br/><br/></p><p>“You’re having a good time because it’s not on you.” RJ said and trying to avoid the kitten’s claws one more time. <br/><br/></p><p>The cat had climbed in RJ’s shoulder and after that, it made its way down into his lap, adjusting and curling itself. <br/><br/></p><p>“Seriously? That was what you wanted to do? You couldn’t just do it a simpler way?” RJ asked the kitten that remained unbothered. <br/><br/></p><p>This time, Bucky laughed loud, bringing the kitten attention towards him.  "It looks at me just like you do." Bucky said and RJ rolled his eyes. <br/><br/></p><p>The kitten slept the rest of the way on the boy's lap and he did not complain for a second. <br/><br/></p><p>Bucky parked the car in front of their house and walked out of it, watching as RJ carried the kitten that was complaining about it. <br/><br/></p><p>"Steve, we are home!" Bucky announced and waited until Steve walked out of the library. "And we brought a new member to the family." <br/><br/></p><p>He pointed to RJ who held the kitten with one hand while petting with the other. <br/><br/></p><p>"Oh, for a moment I thought it was another kid." Steve joked. <br/><br/></p><p>"You both think you are funny, right?" Bucky pointed at RJ and Steve. <br/><br/></p><p>"I'm not taking care of it." RJ announced, still not stopping petting the kitten. Steve and Bucky raised their eyebrows. "I don't know how to!" <br/><br/></p><p>"Well, we don't know how to take care of a teenager, but we're still doing an alright job." Bucky stated and expected RJ to say he was wrong, but the kid said nothing. <br/>Steve put some meat and milk for the kitten to eat and RJ watched close, making sure it had eaten everything. <br/><br/></p><p>"Later we can take him or her to the animal clinic, buy food and some toys, what do you say?" Steve asked RJ. <br/><br/></p><p>"Whatever. I'm still not cleaning its poop." <br/><br/></p><p>Steve laughed. "Yeah, right." <br/><br/></p><p>RJ spent the rest of the day with the kitten, took it to his room, took a few pictures of it with his phone, made sure it was fed and happy. Bucky and Steve smiled at that, watching from afar, as the boy took very seriously his mission to look out for the animal. <br/><br/></p><p>Bucky told Steve everything that had happened at S.H.I.E.L.D.  And they both shared their worries about the results. If it came out negative would be a blessing and if it not... they would deal with it. <br/><br/></p><p>True to his words, Steve took RJ and the kitten, now called Alpine, to the clinic and got a little carried away. They bought more things than they needed and when they got home, Bucky could only see the huge bag Steve was carrying, filled with toys and even some clothes. <br/><br/></p><p>Steve stopped at the door for a moment and watched as Bucky was finishing putting his tactical uniform. <br/><br/></p><p>"Hey, a client called and I'll need to check on that. RJ, you coming?" <br/><br/></p><p>The boy looked at Alpine on his arms and back at Bucky. "You know, the trip to S.H.I.E.L.D tired me..." <br/><br/></p><p>"No problem." Bucky smiled. "It's probably nothing; I'll be back by tomorrow." <br/><br/></p><p>He kissed Steve goodbye and walked out of the house hearing Steve's usual "be careful". <br/><br/></p><p>The gig was simple; he drove for 3 hours until he met Angelo. The man told him about someone that has been following in the last two days; he had already seen the guy in the supermarket, at a coffee shop, and on the streets. <br/><br/></p><p>Bucky did surveillance for almost a day only to find out the man was not Hydra but a creditor that wanted his money back.  After everything had been sorted out, Bucky just wanted to go home and sleep with Steve. <br/><br/></p><p>He had just walked into the car when his phone buzzed on his pocket. <br/><br/></p><p>"Sam?" <br/><br/></p><p>"Hey, Bucky." He heard his friend on the other side of the line. His voice was worried and urgent. <br/><br/></p><p>"Any problem?" <br/><br/></p><p>"Yes, man. A big one I supposed." Bucky held his breath for a moment. "Colt just escaped custody." <br/><br/></p><p>It was bad, it was really bad. It was Bucky's worse dream. <br/><br/></p><p>"How? Sam!" <br/><br/></p><p>"Man, I'm still getting information on that, but he was being moved to the Raft and a moment he was there and in the next, he had vanished." Sam sounded apologetic. "Do you think RJ can help us?" <br/><br/></p><p>"What? Sam! Come on!" Bucky was beyond mad, not only Sam had promised them that they wouldn't need to worry about Colt ever again, but now he was trying to drag RJ back to face a man that had abused him for years. "RJ is just now getting over it and you want for him to go after the guy?" <br/><br/></p><p>"You know I would never ask him that if we had another choice, but he is the best connection we have with the guy." <br/><br/></p><p>Bucky sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "Right. Look, I'll talk to him about it, okay? But if he says he will not help, we are done, you gonna have to find another way to catch this guy." <br/><br/></p><p>"Do you really think RJ will seat this one out?" <br/><br/></p><p>"Not even for a moment." <br/><br/></p><p>The drive was home was hell. Bucky's thoughts were far away, on wherever Colt was, if he was planning his revenge and if he wanted RJ back. What was his plan? What was his next move? Thank God for the traffic being so good right now or he would've crashed the car. <br/><br/></p><p>When he turned around the block and saw his house standing, being kissed by the last rays of sunshine from this day, Bucky felt relieved. He parked the car and could see Steve in the living room reading a book, relaxed, unaware of what was about to happen. <br/>Bucky opened the door and walked in. <br/><br/></p><p>"Where is RJ?" He asked and didn't even bother to greet his husband better, <br/><br/></p><p>"Upstairs. What happened?" <br/><br/></p><p>"Sam called me. Colt got out." <br/><br/></p><p>"What?" <br/><br/></p><p>"Exactly. He wants RJ's help." <br/><br/></p><p>"No way." <br/><br/></p><p>"You know this is not our call." <br/><br/></p><p>"Hell, it's not! He is a kid that is under our protection." <br/><br/></p><p>"Steve-" <br/><br/></p><p>"Bucky." <br/><br/></p><p>They looked at each other for a moment, long enough for them both to calm down.<br/><br/></p><p>"He did not hesitate for a moment before shooting him last time and RJ was fighting by his side, what do you think he will do to him now?" Steve asked and Bucky couldn't remember the last time he had sounded so worried. <br/><br/></p><p>"I know! I was there; don't you think that I don't know that?" <br/><br/></p><p>"What happened?" RJ asked from behind them, making them turn. Bucky let out a huge breath and Steve sighed in frustration.  The super soldiers looked at each other for a moment. <br/><br/></p><p>"Sam called me a few hours ago." Bucky started. "Colt escaped custody-"<br/><br/></p><p>"What?" RJ yelled and took a few steps back. <br/><br/></p><p>"RJ, stay calm please." Steve took a few steps closer to the kid. </p><p><br/>"No! Sam- he told me!" RJ was in distress, Bucky did not know where the kid's mind was, but it was far away from there. "YOU!" RJ pointed a finger right into Bucky's face. "You told me that I didn't need to worry about him." </p><p><br/>Tears were streaming down the boy's face. Alpine arrived into the room and, as if he noticed his owner’s discomfort, tried to get attention towards him. The cat was meowing but it was not enough to bring RJ back to reality. <br/><br/></p><p>"I know it, RJ. He was in a high-" Bucky started. </p><p><br/>"You should've killed him when you had the chance!" RJ yelled this time and even Alpine gave up and stood back. </p><p><br/>"No, kid. I shouldn't." Bucky started. "Hydra made me a killer, but that's not who I'm. I would never kill a man that was lying on the ground completely defenseless." </p><p><br/>"But now he's going to kill me!" RJ said with pure despair.</p><p>"We will never let that happen." Steve said and approached RJ, holding his arm. "He will have to kill us both, Sam, S.H.I.E.L.D first. You have so many people on your corner, you don't even know." <br/><br/></p><p>"RJ, you have to trust us on this. We can protect you. “Bucky added up and waited until the boy nodded. <br/><br/></p><p>Only after that, RJ's breathing had come back into a steady rhythm and he looked calmer. Steve handed him a glass of water. <br/><br/></p><p>"When do we start?" RJ asked looking towards Bucky, eyes still red from the tears that had fallen, but this time it was full of determination as well. <br/><br/></p><p>"Right now, if you want. I'll do whatever it takes to bring Colt down." Bucky assured him.<br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>"I'll go with you." RJ asked. <br/><br/></p><p>"I did not expect anything different." <br/><br/></p><p>"You?" RJ asked Steve now. <br/><br/></p><p>"Someone needs to take care of Alpine." Steve said with a sad smile on his face. <br/>RJ nodded. <br/><br/></p><p>"I'll call Sam and let him know we are coming to meet him. I need you to gather all the information you can about Colt, Hydra bases, allies, anything you can think, is that ok?" Bucky said looking into the kid's eyes. <br/><br/></p><p>"Yes, sir." <br/><br/></p><p>A few minutes later, they were on the road. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Missing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hello!<br/>Hope you guys like it!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bucky and RJ crossed the S.H.I.E.L.D's headquarters door one more time. Unlike the sky walk from before, now, RJ was walking with confidence and determination, something Bucky had not seen ever since he met RJ. The boy knew what he was doing and was not scared of doing so. <br/>

They walked off the elevator and met Sam that was standing in the middle of a conference room: a huge round table around it, and even bigger screens surrounding it and showing files, locations, and pictures. One of the pictures showed RJ when he was younger, probably when he was in the system, and by its side was Colt just as Bucky remembered him. Platinum hair, face sunken in, and dead eyes. 

Sam nodded towards them because he was on the phone with someone. Bucky greeted him back and RJ did not lose time and went to see what the files displayed were about. <br/>

"Where are we?" RJ asked looking at Sam's eyes.<br/>
Sam put his phone down and looked at Bucky before speaking. <br/>

"We already looked into all Hydra bases we know-" Sam said but RJ did not let him finish. <br/>

"He won't be in any of those, it's too obvious." <br/>

"That is what I thought as well, so we also checked every Hydra operative we know, as well as every luxury hotel room," This time, RJ nodded and looked at Bucky. "One of our agents has a CI that saw him in South America not even an hour ago."<br/>

RJ considered it for a moment. "That's not possible," the boy said.<br/>

"I think it makes sense, kid," Sam tried to make his point. <br/>

"No, it does not. Colt is not the kind of person who hides. He likes to be seen," RJ spoke again.  "I've been with him for a while, we've been through some… difficult times and he always refused to run and hide. Didn't matter how much I told him it was the best plan of action." <br/>

"So what is your guess?" Bucky asked him when he was done looking at the files. <br/>

"He's still in the US. He can't be far." <br/>

"Then we gonna look into all places a Hydra boss can be laying low," Bucky said with a nod towards the kid.  "Can we do that, Sam?" <br/>

Sam nodded and told them he would put all the available officers into it, but announced that he would check on the South America lead as well.<br/>

"Can you call that friend of yours? " RJ asked<br/>

"Who?" Bucky replied. <br/>

"Shuri, she is super smart, right? Maybe she can help us." <br/>

Bucky nodded towards him and couldn't help but be a little proud that RJ was not holding back, he was taking the leading role in this whole operation on Colt. Maybe it was because of revenge; maybe he didn't even realize that he was doing. The only thing Bucky hoped was for RJ to keep like it if they find the man. <br/>

True to his word, he called Shuri and before she could complain about how he had not called her for months now, Bucky explained the situation and she quickly said she would everything she could. <br/>

When he turned ended the call, he watched as RJ walked around, looking over screens and double-checked every single detail in it, his face let Bucky know that he was trying to find any useful pieces of information on his memories. Sam had finished his call as well and came closer to him. <br/>
-He is really focused, isn't it? - Sam asked in a soft voice. <br/>
-Huh. He fakes it well. - Bucky said with a huff. - You should've seen the breakdown he had. <br/>
-Do you think he is good to do this? <br/>
-I have no idea, honestly. He fights really well, that I don't have a doubt, but the last time he met Colt didn't go well. <br/>
It was like something had clicked inside his brain, if it was a cartoon, a lamp would lit upon his head. It was as if he just found the missing piece of a complicated puzzle. <br/>
-What? - Sam asked. <br/>
- He will be right here. <br/>
RJ stopped what he was doing and looked at him. He had figured it out as well. <br/>
-He wants me. <br/>
-He wants you. <br/>
Bucky remembered what Colt had said on the night, just before he shot RJ. "Perhaps you do still have worth." <br/>
-It was his entire plan, Bucky! - RJ said. - He knew that you wouldn't let me die. <br/>
-Or he knew that you wouldn't die. - Bucky remembered how RJ probably had the serum in him; a simple bullet wound on the shoulder would not be enough to kill him. Colt must have known it. <br/>
-And he knew that you would take me in. You would never leave me to bleed out in that street. <br/>
-Keep you in a place so he could know where to look for.<br/>
Bucky and RJ stopped their brainstorm for a moment, a single second, when Sam interfered and spoke what they didn't have courage: <br/>
-Oh, oh, we need to take Steve out of that house. <br/>
Bucky and RJ looked at each other in panic. Sam was already back on his phone, sending a team to back up Steve. However, Bucky's heart was racing while he tried to reach Steve's phone and warn him about the danger to come. "Goddamn Steve" Was the only thing in his mind. <br/>
-Can we have satellite cameras on this thing? - Bucky said pointing at the monitor. <br/>
Sam walked towards him, phone near his ear, as he was trying to talk to the team. Bucky stole a glance towards RJ and saw a look on his face that he couldn't figure out. It scared Bucky for a second. <br/>
Sam put the aerial vision of their home, it looked normal, but Bucky could only be thankful that Hydra didn't burn the place down or threw a missile in it, meanwhile, he would not rest until he knew Steve was safe and sound. <br/>
RJ came closer to the screen, his eyes focused hard on it. <br/>
-This is not live. - RJ simply said. <br/>
-What? - Bucky asked incredulously. <br/>
-Kid, they could've not hacked us. - Sam said. - Our system is the best in the whole world, courtesy of Tony Stark himself. <br/>
-Yeah, but it was. - RJ said completely annoyed because he had to explain himself and was losing precious time. –I was building a cat home for Alpine before everything went to hell. If it were live, it would be showing it. <br/>
-Steve could have cleaned it up. – Sam said. <br/>
-No, Steve would've finished it. I'm sure. <br/>
Sam looked at Bucky. <br/>
-He is right. <br/>
One more time Sam got his phone, but this time he called Sharon. She picked up on the first ring and Sam started to explain the situation on the phone to her in the simplest way possible. <br/>
RJ's legs were bouncing while Bucky tried to get any camera close by their place, but was not been successful. Every street camera close to their place was off, 15 in total. What were the odds of that happening? Something was wrong and he knew it. The kid knew it as well. <br/>
Before Bucky could even think, RJ was running towards the door. <br/>
-Hey, where are you going? - Bucky asked almost screaming. <br/>
- We have to help Steve! We can't stay here and just call people up hoping they'll do something we can do so much better. <br/>
Sam nodded towards them because he was on the phone with someone. Bucky greeted him back and RJ did not lose time and went to see what the files displayed were about. <br/>
-Where are we? - RJ asked looking at Sam's eyes.<br/>
Sam put his phone down and looked at Bucky before speaking. <br/>
-We already looked into all Hydra bases we know- Sam said but RJ did not let him finish. <br/>
-He won't be in any of those, it's too obvious. <br/>
-That is what I thought as well, so we also checked every Hydra operative we know, as well as every luxury hotel room. - This time, RJ nodded and looked at Bucky. – One of our agents has a lead that he was seen in South America not even an hour ago.<br/>
RJ considered it for a moment. -That's not possible. – The boy said.<br/>
-I think it makes sense, kid. – Sam tried to make his point. <br/>
-No, it does not. Colt is not the kind of person who hides. He likes to be seen. – RJ spoke again. – I've been with him for a while, we've been through some… difficult times and he always refused to run and hide. Didn't matter how much I told him it was the best plan of action. <br/>
- So what is your guess? – Bucky asked him when he was done looking at the files. <br/>
- He's still in the US. He can't be far. <br/>
- Then we gonna look into all places a Hydra boss can be laying low. – Bucky said with a nod towards the kid. – Can we do that, Sam? <br/>
Sam nodded and told them he would put all the available officers into it, but announced that he would check on the South America lead as well.<br/>
- Can you call that friend of yours? <br/>
- Who? – Bucky asked. <br/>
- Shuri, she is super smart, right? Maybe she can help us. <br/>
Bucky nodded towards him and couldn't help but be a little proud that RJ was not holding back, he was taking the leading role in this whole operation on Colt. Maybe it was because of revenge; maybe he didn't even realize that he was doing. The only thing Bucky hoped was for RJ to keep like it if they find the man. <br/>
True to his word, he called Shuri and before she could complain about how he had not called her for months now, Bucky explained the situation and she quickly said she would everything she could. <br/>
When he turned ended the call, he watched as RJ walked around, looking over screens and double-checked every single detail in it, his face let Bucky know that he was trying to find any useful pieces of information on his memories. Sam had finished his call as well and came closer to him. <br/>
-He is really focused, isn't it? - Sam asked in a soft voice. <br/>
-Huh. He fakes it well. - Bucky said with a huff. - You should've seen the breakdown he had. <br/>
-Do you think he is good to do this? <br/>
-I have no idea, honestly. He fights really well, that I don't have a doubt, but the last time he met Colt didn't go well. <br/>
It was like something had clicked inside his brain, if it was a cartoon, a lamp would lit upon his head. It was as if he just found the missing piece of a complicated puzzle. <br/>
-What? - Sam asked. <br/>
- He will be right here. <br/>
RJ stopped what he was doing and looked at him. He had figured it out as well. <br/>
-He wants me. <br/>
-He wants you. <br/>
Bucky remembered what Colt had said on the night, just before he shot RJ. "Perhaps you do still have worth." <br/>
-It was his entire plan, Bucky! - RJ said. - He knew that you wouldn't let me die. <br/>
-Or he knew that you wouldn't die. - Bucky remembered how RJ probably had the serum in him; a simple bullet wound on the shoulder would not be enough to kill him. Colt must have known it. <br/>
-And he knew that you would take me in. You would never leave me to bleed out in that street. <br/>
-Keep you in a place so he could know where to look for.<br/>
Bucky and RJ stopped their brainstorm for a moment, a single second, when Sam interfered and spoke what they didn't have courage: <br/>
-Oh, oh, we need to take Steve out of that house. <br/>
Bucky and RJ looked at each other in panic. Sam was already back on his phone, sending a team to back up Steve. However, Bucky's heart was racing while he tried to reach Steve's phone and warn him about the danger to come. "Goddamn Steve" Was the only thing in his mind. <br/>
-Can we have satellite cameras on this thing? - Bucky said pointing at the monitor. <br/>
Sam walked towards him, phone near his ear, as he was trying to talk to the team. Bucky stole a glance towards RJ and saw a look on his face that he couldn't figure out. It scared Bucky for a second. <br/>
Sam put the aerial vision of their home, it looked normal, but Bucky could only be thankful that Hydra didn't burn the place down or threw a missile in it, meanwhile, he would not rest until he was sure Steve was safe and sound. <br/>
RJ came closer to the screen, his eyes focused hard on it. <br/>
-This is not live. - RJ simply said. <br/>
-What? - Bucky asked incredulously. <br/>
-Kid, they could've not hacked us. - Sam said. - Our system is the best in the whole world, courtesy of Tony Stark himself. <br/>
-Yeah, but it was. - RJ said completely annoyed because he had to explain himself and was losing precious time. –I was building a cat home for Alpine before everything went to hell. If it were live, it would be showing it. <br/>
-Steve could have cleaned it up and waited until you got back. – Sam said. <br/>
-No, Steve would've finished it. I'm sure. <br/>
Sam looked at Bucky. <br/>
-He is right. <br/>
One more time Sam got his phone, but this time he called Sharon. She picked up on the first ring and Sam started to explain the situation on the phone to her in the simplest way possible. <br/>
RJ's legs were bouncing while Bucky tried to get any camera close by their place, but was not been successful. Every street camera close to their place was off, 15 in total. What were the odds of that happening? Something was wrong and he knew it. The kid knew it as well. <br/>
Before Bucky could even think, RJ was running towards the door. <br/>
-Hey, where are you going? - Bucky asked almost screaming. <br/>
- We have to help Steve! We can't stay here and just call people up hoping they'll do something we can do so much better. <br/>
Bucky considered it for a moment. <br/>
-We will get there much faster if we go flying. - Sam said beating him into it and following RJ towards the exit. <br/>
A few moments later, Bucky and RJ were in the plane it all began with Sam following them close behind. <br/>
-Bucky, I think I have to be honest with you. - RJ said to Bucky, that encouraged him to keep going. - I don't think I can do this. I... I don't know what I'll do if I see him again. <br/>
Bucky let go of the plane and stared into his eyes, grabbing him by the shoulders. <br/>
-Are you scared of him? <br/>
RJ shook his head. <br/>
-Are you scared of yourself? <br/>
RJ nodded. <br/>
-Look, it won't be easy. If he is there and this is all a trap and we are going towards there like the dumb we are... I know this won't be easy, you have a lot of things that still need to be sorted out, just like I and Steve do. But, I believe that there are things that are inside of us all along, even when we forget who we are. Things that don’t matter the situation, no one can take away from us. I know that you are not a killer, you are an amazing kid and I know I’ve told you that so many times that you are probably tired of it by now, but it’s true. You will do great.  <br/>
-I just want to make sure Steve is fine and catch him. Bucky, I don’t think I ever liked being alive until I met you both. – RJ confessed after a moment. – I don’t want to disappoint you. <br/>
-You won't. Doesn't matter what you do. You could never. <br/>
RJ nodded and smiled. <br/>
"Guys, are you seeing it?" Sam's voice came to the speakers. <br/>
Bucky and RJ turned their attention back to the outside. It was almost night and the sun was setting, they were approaching their neighborhood and in this distance, everything looked normal, but Sam was closer and he could see something they both couldn’t. So, Bucky put the plane to hover and they jumped out of the plane and into the street. <br/>
They met Sam who was already walking towards the house. <br/>
-Redwing saw at least 15 heat signatures inside. – Sam announced and Bucky could swear he felt his heart-stopping for a moment. – Are you guys ready? <br/>
-On your command, Captain. – Bucky said just to tease. <br/>
Bucky never thought he would have to break into his own house, but it happened. Sam busted the door once they realized it was blocked and walked into the place that had seen so many things, but never this much of fight. <br/>
Steve was on the top of the stairs, kicking a Hydra agent down before the man could even think about getting up, Bucky punched him with his metal arm. <br/>
-What took you so long? – Steve asked out of breathing. <br/>
-Traffic suck, you know. – Bucky smirked. <br/>
RJ was fighting two more agents that had come out of the window while Sam was deactivating a bomb that was in the living room and then flew to fight the ones that were coming from the ceiling. <br/>
-I need help upstairs! – Steve yelled and RJ went running to his meeting. <br/>
Bucky wanted to go as well but was stopped by a punch on the back of his head. He rolled his eyes and send the guy flying over the living room; the man went through the window and landed on the grass in front of the house. His eyes went up and saw that not even two feet away from where the man was unconscious, Steve was standing up. <br/>
For a second, Bucky’s world stopped spinning as he tried to make sense of what was happening. Steve had called from upstairs… <br/>
Bucky went out running towards the second pavement of the house as fast as he could, looked around the hallway. RJ’s door was already open and Bucky’s heart was beating so fast he could not even think straight. Recharging the gun, he pointed it up and put his finger on the trigger, ready to shot Colt on sight. <br/>
He walked into the room slowly, hoping to see RJ and Colt in there, but the room was empty but for Alpine that was curled up under the bed. <br/>
-RJ! – Bucky shouted as loud as he could. –RJ! <br/>
Steve followed Bucky close by and realized the thing. RJ was long gone. <br/>
Bucky ran through the house, busting every door and looking everywhere, while Steve was talking to Sam. <br/>
-How could you not see anything? – Steve asked him. <br/>
-Steve, I was busy fighting five guys all at the same time. <br/>
Steve ran his hands through his face. <br/>
-It was all a trap. This – Steve kicked one Hydra agent that was lying unconscious nearby him. – It was all a trap! They only wanted to distract us while they took RJ. <br/>
Bucky looked at Steve and saw the same thing that he was feeling. Despair. Their kid was gone. <br/>
-They took RJ. – Bucky said while his heart was ripping. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Lies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I need help upstairs!” RJ’s heard Steve’s voice, his fists were hurting from the punch he landed on the Hydra agent just seconds ago but as soon as he heard it the pain was long forgotten. Looking around, RJ saw as Bucky was fighting 4 guys at the same time, Sam could be heard in the roof and no one was upstairs to help Steve. </p>
<p>Without even thinking, RJ climbed the stairs quickly as he could, but when he arrived on the second pavement of the house, he could not see Steve. Looking around he realized his bedroom’s door was open. Grabbing his gun, he made his way towards it. <br/>He opened the door slowly to find Colt sitting on his bed, the man had his arms crossed. When he saw RJ walking in, he dared to smile. <br/>“YOU-“On the second Colt’s eyes met him, RJ was taken over by a fury he had never felt in his life.  He could understand why people who committed passionate crimes would say that they were blinded by anger; everything he could see was Colt and everything he could feel was hate towards the man. Nothing mattered anymore, RJ tried to remember what Bucky had told him about him being a good person on the core, but his mind was filled by his time with Colt. The beatings, the pain, the humiliation, how he mistreated, considered less than human.<br/>“You tortured me!” RJ threw himself to Colt, grabbing him by the collar, bringing him closer to his face. The kid was doing his best not to cry and hold back his tears, while Colt just smiled like it was all amusing to him. <br/>“You manipulated me!” RJ’s voice came out as a growl. He grabbed the closest thing he could find, a lamp, and broke it on the man’s face. “You stole my life!” Colt had taken a few steps away, but RJ still managed to punch him. “You tried to kill me!” <br/>RJ was about to land another punch when Colt blocked it like it was nothing. <br/>“And yet here you are.” For a second, RJ’s world stopped and he couldn’t breathe as he looked into the eyes of the man that had hurt him so much. “Maybe I did something right.” Colt threw him around the room like he nothing, and the feeling of being worthless came back like a tsunami wave into the boy’s chest. <br/>RJ landed on the wall, his head hit it bad and blood was coming out of his mouth, he had probably bit his tongue when he hit it. “Now, are you going to calm yourself down? Or am I gonna have to beat all this extra energy out of you?” <br/>The boy looked while the man that stared in all his nightmares came closer. Back when he met Colt he was younger, desperate to have something, anything that would tie him to the world. The worse feeling he ever felt was not belonging anywhere, being part of a world that didn’t want you in it. Colt offered him it, a place to belong and he took it, no matter what the consequences of it were. Now, he could see how wrong it was. <br/>Steve and Bucky had shown him family, a life where he could be whoever he wanted to be. He did not belong in Hydra, he belonged in this non-conventional family. With Steve doing breakfast, Bucky taking him to missions, Sam and Sharon coming to help. Flashes of his short time in there ran through his head as Colt prepared to hit him. <br/>With a move, he dodged it, grabbed Colt’s gun, and went to his back so he would be able to strangle him.  “Good boy.” He heard Colt say and pressed it a little harder. It was going great until Colt decided to throw himself forwards and destabilized RJ. Soon, RJ was on the ground, Colt’s feet on his neck, blocking any air of coming to his lungs. <br/>RJ tried his best to fight back, to let himself go, but he wasn’t able. Maybe he was weak and nothing like Colt had always told him and he would die just like he deserved, pressed like a cockroach.<br/>He remembered what Bucky asked him when they first met. “Do you like killing?” and thought that it was the thing he hated the most. <br/>When he came back to his senses, RJ looked around and realized he was on a Hydra facility. One he had been only once, a long time ago. He tried to remember where it was, if Bucky and Steve would be able to find him by themselves, maybe they would be too late-<br/>“Good to see you awake, boy.” Colt’s voice came from behind him. RJ was trapped on a chair, arms, and legs tided into it and he could only move his head. “I have so many plans for you and me, now that I’m out and you know those two like family. We will be a great team.” <br/>“I’ll kill on the first chance I get,” RJ said trying to hide the fear in his voice. <br/>“Good thing I think you’ll not get a chance.” Colt sat on a chair beside him, putting himself close and RJ would get anything to break free and punch the man until he was dead. “So, tell me everything you found out about them, I want to know the cereal Captain America eats for breakfast.” <br/>“I wouldn’t know. Never had breakfast with Sam.” RJ smirked. <br/>“Are you talking about that fake? The last act of stupid from Steve Rogers, give the shield to a black guy.” Colt leaned himself back and rolled his eyes. “Tell me about important people. The Winter Soldier, Steve Rogers, S.H.I.E.L.D!”<br/>RJ pretended he didn’t hear it. <br/>“You think you can defy me, boy?” Colt’s voice was unbothered, like usual. He didn’t raise it not even he was spanking RJ, no, he was always calm like he had the situation under his control. “Everything you are, I gave to you. I made you. You were nothing before me and you are nothing without me, it doesn’t matter what they told you. Deep inside of you, you know it was all lies and you didn’t believe in any of them because you know yourself as I know you.” <br/>RJ looked down at his feet. <br/>“Did you know that Alexander Pierce, rest in peace, had a theory for treating the Winter Soldier? He didn’t believe in the way the others handlers took care of him, he liked to give the Soldier rewards after missions, that would keep in stable more than he had ever been. It wasn’t about fear; it was about making him want to stay.” He stopped for a moment and with a gentle touch, he touched RJ’s chin and made him look into his eyes. “The Soldier had clothes, nice food, and a warm bed. Once, a scientist tried to break the Soldier free and you know what he did? He broke the man’s neck. He didn’t even have orders too! He just didn’t want to leave.” <br/>RJ couldn’t look at Colt anymore so closed his eyes. Bucky never told him much about his time in Hydra and he knew how much the man hated it and never got over the things that he did. He remembered Bucky lying on the bed, sad because of the memories that were coming. Maybe this was one of them. <br/>“You see, I think this is a good technique”, Colt said with a smile on his face. “Bring someone in, show than love and family, make them think you are safe but use you for their gain. I should’ve done it with you sooner.” <br/>RJ tried to stop the words from coming, from hitting him so badly but he couldn’t avoid it. He wished Colt didn’t have so much power in him, so much control, it was so easy to believe in whatever the man would tell him than in whatever Bucky and Steve always told him. <br/>“My dear RJ, you are back home. You don’t need to pretend anymore. You’re free to be you.” <br/>“I don’t want to be whatever you want me to!” <br/>“But you don’t need to want something you already are.” </p>
<p>*********</p>
<p>Steve punched the table as hard as he could. He, Bucky, Sam, and Sharon were on the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters back again, this time, it was so much worst. They have been trying to find where Colt could have possibly taken RJ and right now, they had nothing. <br/>“Steve, calm down”, Bucky said, breathing hard and as nervous as he was. <br/>“We need to go to all the Hydra bases we know, it is the best place for him to take him.” <br/>“Steve, we would only be losing time and you know it,” Sam said knowing he was right. “We have surveillance on all bases we know and even in suspicious places. All Hydra agents in our custody are being questioned right now as we speak. Redwing is on the streets. We will find him.” <br/>“But what if we find him too late, Sam?” <br/>“If Hydra wanted him dead they would’ve done it back in the house. They want something else.” Sharon interfered. <br/>“They want him back with Hydra or as bait.” Bucky looked at Steve’s eyes. “We just need to outsmart them.” <br/>“What do we know about Colt?” Sam asked. <br/>“That he’s a show-off jerk who thinks he’s better than anyone else,” Steve said. <br/>“He doesn’t care about being seen. He likes luxury and is not a big fan of hiding.” Bucky completed. “For him, this is a game. RJ is an investment that Hydra needs back.” <br/>Sam looked at the floor for a moment and suddenly he looked at Steve and Bucky. <br/>“What?” Steve asked full of expectations. <br/>“RJ is an investment you both are the biggest threat to it. For him to get the boy back, he needs you both out of the game.” Sam said. <br/>“Yeah, but if he wanted to kill us he could’ve done it back then,” Bucky said this time. <br/>“No, he couldn’t,” Sharon spoke nodding towards Sam. “If they killed any of you at the house it would only take RJ away from them. He needs for you to make a mistake he can use.” <br/>Bucky looked at Steve. <br/>“He has something planned.” Bucky nodded. <br/>Like it was planned, an alarm in one of the screens lit up and they all looked towards it. A face recognition program was letting them know Colt was sitting on a diner, only a few hours away from where they were. <br/>Colt was eating some pancakes while corpses laid around him.  He dared to smile towards the camera and nod. <br/>Bucky never felt so much anger in his life before. Colt was a cold, calculated man who had the kid he had learned to love right now. It made his body shake, his face red and he regret not killing the man when he had the chance. He looked at Steve who had the same expression on his face. Knuckles white as he looked at the camera. <br/>“I’m gonna get a team ready,” Sharon said and excused herself out of the room. <br/>“Sam, do you have a suit I can use?” Steve turned back and looked into his friend’s eyes. <br/>“Steve, I don’t think it’s a good idea for any of you to go on this one,” Sam said and before Bucky could interject, he spoke. “I’m not comfortable following this guy plan, especially when I don’t know anything about it other than he wants you guys.”<br/>“I respect you, Sam,” Steve said and Bucky heard Captain America’s voice tone in every word he spoke. “But RJ is our kid and he’s in danger. We won’t sit this one out and you know it.” <br/>Sam closed his eyes and let out a sigh. “There a tactical uniform that should fit you. I’m gonna get it ready.” <br/>Steve smiled and nodded at him. <br/>They got the jet and arrived in there in record time. Bucky was the first one to go in.<br/>“Oh! Soldier!” Colt smiled. “I was getting worried; you shouldn’t had taken this long.” <br/>Colt was keeping his voice calm but Bucky could that he was looking around and behind Bucky, maybe hoping to see Steve as well. <br/>“I would say I’m sorry, but meeting you was the last thing I’ve ever wanted to.” <br/>“And to think that RJ talks so good of you.” <br/>“Don’t you dare say his name!” Anger took over Bucky. “Where is he?” <br/>“You need to make up your mind, or you want information on where the little toy soldier is or I need to shut up?” <br/>Bucky closed his eyes to avoid not ripping the man’s head out. <br/>“I just want to know where RJ is, you don’t care about him but I do and right the only thing keeping you alive is the information you have on him.” <br/>“And you think I’ll just tell you? Do you think I’m stupid?” <br/>“What do you want?” <br/>“You and your husband to be away from him. RJ is Hydra and he knows he’s better off where he belongs, he just needs to be reminded of that.”  </p>
<p>********</p>
<p><br/>RJ had been transferred to a small room with a chair and a TV. He was so tired, so tired and all he wanted to close his eyes and go to sleep. Everything hurt; the bruises he had been trying too hard to ignore were making themselves known, he had a headache that was killing him and his throat was sore from here Mr. Colt had stepped. </p>
<p>He allowed himself to drift off for a moment until the TV turned itself on and he heard a voice he knew so well. Looking up, he saw Bucky talking with Mr. Colt, the image looked like one from a security camera, it was far away but he could see they were both on a diner. Bucky standing up while Mr. Colt was sat in front of him. He couldn’t see Bucky’s mouth moving, but he could see that Mr. Colt was telling him something. Suddenly the sound was on, making him jump a little. </p>
<p>“He’s good, isn’t he?” He could hear Mr. Colt’s voice. <br/>“Not that good, I’ve seen better,” Bucky said and RJ had to look down at his chest to make sure he was not stabbed. Bucky would never say this, would he? <br/>“I’ve trained him to be the best, you may not like my methods but you have to admit he went out well.” <br/>“That would explain why he’s weak.” <br/>RJ shook his head as he told himself no so many times he lost the count. Bucky would never say this kind of thing; Bucky treated him as equal on the missions, respected him, and even called him a partner. <br/>“He is just a little boy. I see what you saw in him, so easy to be manipulated, so easy to be controlled. Just say the right words and push the right buttons and he’s ready to die for you.” Now tears were falling from RJ’s eyes. It was all a lie, Bucky was just like Colt. They were sitting and chatting, making fun of him, talking about how stupid he was. Everything was a lie. He did not deserve love, he knew that deep inside, he was a fool for believing people like Steve and Bucky could love him. </p>
<p>It still hurt. RJ felt like something was ripping his heart off his chest, the pain was unbearable and he couldn’t hide the sobs that were coming out of him. How could they’ve done it to him? At least Hydra never made him pretend he was loved just take it all off him. </p>
<p>He looked at the screen and through his vision blurred by tears, he could see Bucky turning his back on Mr. Colt and leaving, giving up on RJ and leaving him behind. The screen turned black and he saw his reflection. Oh, how he hated what he was seeing. </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Sorry</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I'm baaaaaaaaaack</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>CHAPTER 9</p><p> </p><p>                  “We got it!” Sam announced with a big smile on his face and Steve let out a huge sigh of relief.<br/>

As soon as they got out of S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters, they already knew two things: (1) RJ was not with Colt at that moment; (2) it was a trap. They needed to be two steps ahead of whatever Hydra was planning and they advantaged only came with a call from Sharon, letting them know that the security camera on the diner had been broadcasting somewhere they would be able to identify if they got closer.<br/>

The plan they came up with was simple. Bucky would go in alone; since they had not identified any other Hydra agents other than Colt, it was going to be easy; he was going with a signal localizer and would be able to track down where the broadcast was going. Steve would stay in with Sam. Hydra did not know he was back in action and they would like to keep it that way, just like a secret weapon.<br/>

All the time Bucky was inside, he had to hold himself back, bite his tongue, and tell every cell of his body that he could not kill the man in front of him right now. He was taunting Bucky, saying nasty things about the boy Bucky loved and cherished. If they did not need them to think that it was going well, Colt would be dead a long time ago.<br/>

“I’ve trained him to be the best, you may not like my methods but you have to admit he went out well,” Colt said with a smirk and Bucky felt anger burning into his chest, he didn’t think he had ever hated so much someone as he hates Colt.<br/>

“Everything good RJ has comes out of himself; it has nothing to do with you. You are weak and pathetic.” Bucky said between his teeth.<br/>

“I’m not so sure, Bucky Barnes,” Colt answered. “You know, I do see what you saw in him to steal him from Hydra-“<br/>

“He’s not a thing to be stolen! He is a person!” Bucky busted. “What I saw in him was strength, compassion, someone that was manipulated and controlled, but still kept going strong. You just knew the right buttons to push and then you made him die for you, but he outcome that. He is better than you will ever be.”<br/>

Colt dared to laugh.<br/>

“Where is RJ?” Bucky spoke as threatening as he could.<br/>

“Not here, but I will make it easy for you: I took only an hour to get here.”  At the same time, Bucky heard Sam telling him that they had gotten a location. “I would advise you to hurry, the little boy will not last long.”<br/>

Bucky turned his back on Colt, knowing he would have plenty of time to put him down and into the Raft where he belonged, but a fight would only delay them, and right now, the only thing that mattered was to get RJ back.<br/>

“The signal ends in a Hydra base exactly 1 hour and 20 minutes from here.” Sam started.<br/>

“We already lost a lot of time,” Steve said and Bucky agreed. “We gonna go on full speed.”<br/>

And they did so. The only plan they had attacked and they couldn’t way any longer to punch some people, whoever was in front of him. Bucky could see Steve stare far away, could see his chest rising and falling in exaggerates movements, so he came closer and put a hand on his husband’s knee.<br/>

“You know RJ is tough, right? He survived Hydra for years; he can do for a few more minutes.”<br/>

“I know.” Steve tried to smile. “But Colt told us that he would not last long. What the hell did he mean by that?”<br/>

“He wants to freak us out, don’t let him get in your head, Stevie,” Bucky said and leaned a little and Steve lips met his. When the kiss ended, Bucky looked into his eyes and nodded and Steve gave him a sad smile.<br/>

“We are arriving in 10 minutes. I’m gonna fly and open the way the best I can. Redwing will look for RJ.” Sam said and just as the last word as spoken he threw himself off the jet and spread his wings, shield in hand. Steve and Bucky went followed him close behind.<br/>

It was good, Bucky wouldn’t deny it. Fighting alongside Steve felt right, it was as they were a machine that could work apart but would never reach their full potential by itself. They walked into the base that was disguised as an energy company as if it was nothing.<br/>

Steve did not lose his strength and didn’t look a day older, Sam was perfect with his shield now and Bucky… Bucky did not hold back whenever Hydra was involved.<br/>

They decided to get apart so they could try to find RJ faster. Busting into rooms, punching whoever came in their way was good, but all they wanted to find a boy with black hair and blue eyes alive and well. Maybe pissed with a corky attitude, they wouldn’t mind.<br/>

Steve went to the west wing, not even looking twice to whoever wasn’t RJ. He had one goal there and he that was the only thing that mattered right now.<br/>

He kicked a door at the end of the hallway, it went flying away and made a huge noise, just like many others did, but as soon as this one was down he felt his heart skipping a beat.<br/>

RJ stood in there sitting on a chair, tied by his arms and legs in front of a turned-off TV. The boy’s head was down, his hair that was usually perfectly styled now was flat and covering his eyes. For a second, for a terrifying second, Steve thought it was too late.<br/>

He ran and stopped for a moment in front of the chair, not daring to find out if he was right or no.<br/>

“RJ…” He whispered. The last thing he wanted was to freight the boy in front of him.  “RJ, please.” He came closer, kneeling down in front of the chair.<br/>

Slowly RJ's head moved up and Steve could see his tears stained face. His blue eyes contrasted with the red in it; it was swollen and his face looked like a completely wreak. Whatever Colt did hurt RJ so much and Steve had to swallow his anger. The boy closed his eyes and flinched.<br/>

“Oh RJ… I’m gonna take this off, ok?” Steve calmly asked but that was no answer from the kid. RJ stood there, motionless, head hanging low, as if he had given up and never in a million years would Steve think he would see that. RJ was always full of attitude and life, always coming back with a quirk remark or an ironic answer this was unbelievable. It was almost catatonic and hurt every cell on Steve’s body.<br/>

“I-I found him,” Steve announced in his communication before Sam and Bucky could keep looking any longer.<br/>

“Where?” Bucky sounded despaired.<br/>

“Just-Just come and find me.” Was all Steve could say as he took the restraints off and RJ did not move at all.<br/>

“Is he alive?”<br/>

“Yeah, but… Bucky, just come.”<br/>

Steve turned his communications off and all his focus was on RJ now. The restraints were off but RJ didn’t move.<br/>

“RJ, we gotta go. Get out of here and go home.” Steve had to control himself to not touch the kid. “Follow me, please,” Steve begged.<br/>

Finally, the boy’s blue eyes met his but there was no knowledge in it and Steve could feel a sinking feeling on his stomach, fearing that Hydra had wiped him as they’ve done to Bucky many times<br/>

“Why are you here?” The boy asked and it was shaky, full of doubts.<br/>

“You know why. Because you are my kid. I love you and we miss you. Me, Bucky, Sam… Alpine.” Steve dared to smirk. “We all miss you and want you back.”<br/>

Something changed in RJ’s eyes and Steve could see the anger in them.<br/>

“Why do you keep lying to me? I won’t fall in your games anymore.”  Steve wanted that these words came with anger and shouts, but all he could hear was a broken boy that had given up.<br/>

“I’m not lying to you. I don’t know what they told you, but it’s all lies. Everything.”<br/>

“They only showed me the truth,” RJ said and didn’t move a muscle.<br/>

Steve didn’t know what to do, he looked at the ceiling and towards the door, hoping that Bucky or Sam would come in and help him convince RJ that they only wanted the best for him.<br/>

“Ok. You know what? You may not believe in me, but you know that Hydra is no good and this is no place for you. When you first came into our lives, we promised you that you would be free and you are. You follow me out of here and after that, you do whatever you want, is that good?”<br/>

RJ looked at him confused as if he didn’t trust Steve enough to keep his promise and it hurt Steve more than the kid would ever know.<br/>

On this very second, Bucky showed up at the door, painting and taking deep breathes. At that moment, he saw RJ a smile spread through his face but a look at Steve was enough to know the situation wasn’t good.<br/>

RJ looked at him but didn’t meet his eyes, instead, his eyes met the floor, as if he was ashamed. And all Bucky could do was question what the hell had happened?<br/>

“Guys, you need to hurry. I can’t hold them back much longer.” Sam’s voice came on the speaker.<br/>

Steve looked in despair over Bucky, hoping for some help on how to deal with the situation, but Bucky was as lost as he was or even more.<br/>

“RJ, we need to go know! Whatever happened here, I know you don’t belong to Hydra and you don’t want to, so please, let’s go.” Bucky said.<br/>

The boy looked at Steve and then at Bucky and opened his mouth to say something, but nothing. He just closed it and nodded.<br/>

Steve and Bucky couldn’t hide their reliefs when RJ walked out of the room with them, they ran through the hallway together and found three Hydra soldier trying to hold them back. As if something switched inside RJ, his doubtful eyes and small posture changed completely and he was back into fight or die mode. Punching and kicking all the enemies like usual.<br/>

They made a good team, Bucky couldn’t help but think when he saw how smooth the three of them worked together and soon they were making their way out of the base. Sam was already outside, clearing the path for them.<br/>

Sunlight always blinded RJ and he had to cover his eyes. The boy felt a hand behind his back and after his vision cleared, he could see Bucky standing in front of him with a worried expression on his face. “He can fake it really well,” the voice in his head said and he agreed. If he did not know, better he would’ve believed in him as he did all those months ago.<br/>

“Are you okay? Are you hurt somewhere?” Bucky asked him and now he could see Steve and Sam standing behind with the same look on their faces.<br/>

RJ wanted to scream, wanted to punch them all, and kill them for making a fool out of him. They took him in when he was in his slowest and they all took advantage of him, used him to fight their fights, just like Hydra.<br/>

In one quick movement, he stepped away from Bucky’s hand; like his touch was burning him and RJ could see the hurt on his face as he did.<br/>
“Ok, you don’t want to be touched. But I need to know if you are okay.”<br/>

“Like you care.” RJ wanted him to hurt, for him to cry as he had done.<br/>

“Whatever happened, we need to leave this place now,” Sam said making RJ look at him. RJ wasn’t ready to see Mr. Colt standing right behind him with a smirk on his face.<br/>

“Why leaving so soon?” Colt said in his annoying voice.<br/>

The four of them – Steve, Bucky, Sam, and RJ – all got into fighting position. Colt let out a laugh.<br/>

Sam, the closest, was the first one to engage, followed by Steve and then Bucky. RJ wanted to fight, wanted so much to punch, kill, or just do anything but his body wasn’t following his commands. While they were all fighting on the open field, RJ could only stand in there.<br/>

He kept watching as Sam threw his shield and almost knocked Colt out, but the villain got his gun just before it and shot towards Steve who had to dodge the bullet, making Bucky wide his eyes and lose his balance for a moment. RJ wanted to help them, but all he could do was stand in there cursing himself.<br/>

Colt was fast and fought dirty, did not care about killing someone like Steve, Sam and Bucky did, and there was his only advantage on them. One good enough for them to pull a sweat.<br/>

Bucky was able to kick the gun out of Colt’s hand and it landed right beside RJ’s feet.<br/>

For a moment, RJ’s world stopped and he could only see the gun standing beside him, begging to be used and for him to finish what he had started, for him to accept what he was, a murder. With trembling hands, he got the gun off the ground, and in a haze, he pointed at Colt.<br/>

The fight stopped, Bucky, Sam, and Steve stopped what they were doing and looked at him, Steve’s eyes looked like they were about to come out of his face, he looked in despair at Bucky who had a surprised expression on his face. The only person who looked pleased about it was Colt.<br/>

“Oh! Finally! Finally!” The Hydra agent yelled with a smile on his face. “RJ finally gonna show what he really is. Show them, boy. Show them why you are Hydra.”<br/>

RJ’s hands were shaking, flashes of Colt telling him he was going to be great, the manipulation, the torture, the hurt he was put through during years were all coming to him.<br/>

“Don’t listen to him! RJ you are better than this, put the gun down.” Steve said now and Bucky nodded.<br/>

“RJ, we have other ways to fix this,” Sam said this time.<br/>

“You-you had him and you let him go. You couldn’t fix it!” RJ yelled towards Sam. “You promised me! You lied to me! You all lied to me!” His voice sounded wet but he did not know if he was crying.<br/>

“I know you are hurt, I know this is hard, but-“Bucky started to say and RJ couldn’t help but wince at the man’s voice.<br/>

“YOU LIED! You don’t care about me, you don’t- You never did. Never will, I’m just a… pawn.” RJ said looking right into Bucky’s eyes. Colt seemed pleased by the whole thing, he did not move a muscle to try to escape, this was part of the plan and they all knew it.<br/>

“Never! Never! RJ… You are like a son to me and Steve, we love you.”<br/>

“Don’t need to lie, Soldier,” Colt said laughing. “We all know, RJ is good at one thing and one thing only.”<br/>

“SHUT UP!” Steve yelled.<br/>

“RJ, please, put the gun down. You don’t need to be what they made you, I know you, and you would not kill a man that can’t defend himself.”  Bucky said and it brought even more tears to RJ’s eyes.<br/>

“No, no, no, Soldier. RJ is a killer; you would be surprised at how easy it is for him to end someone’s life. A merciless, cold killer, a gun-“<br/>

RJ didn’t even feel as his finger pulled the trigger. He heard the sound and then saw Colt’s white hair becoming red and him falling into the ground, dead before he even hit it. He could see Steve, Bucky and Sam looking at each other, astonished and lost in what they were about to do next, Sam even tried to stop the bullet with the shield but it was too slow.<br/>

It was all in slow motion, RJ felt like watching his life through someone’s point of view, a tasteless movie rated R that he wished he could’ve turned off.<br/>

When he came back to himself, he was still holding the gun, who now burned his hands, so he threw it on the ground, from where he should never have picked it. He looked up and saw Steve and Bucky coming towards him with open arms. Something was stabbing his chest and he had to look to confirm it was just heartbreak.<br/>

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” Bucky and Steve's warm arms were holding him steady; it was the only thing grounding him in reality. RJ could only feel the sobs coming out of his body, his knees had given up and the super-soldiers were the thing holding him up. “It’s okay, it’s over. It’s over.”<br/>

RJ tried to look at Colt’s dead body but Steve grabbed his head and put it on the chest, blocking any view he could possibly have.<br/>

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.” RJ barely realized he was saying those words, only noticed because of how his voice reverberated on Steve’s chest.<br/>

He doesn’t know how long he stood in there, on their embrace, being held together by the men who betrayed him, but he loved them so dearly he could not let go of the crumbles of love he received.<br/>

“I’m a murder.” The words came out without his consent.<br/>

Bucky was the first to let him go, but only to stand in front of him, look into his eyes, and say “you are not murder, RJ. You are a kid that was hurt, you are not murder.”<br/>
Steve nodded and RJ would argue with him but exhausted got him and his whole world when black.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hope you guys like it! Thank you for the comments and kudos during this time.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>RJ's world came back to him slowly. First, his hearing came back, and he heard three muffled voices talking far away. His brain took a while to identify who the voices belonged. "Sam, Steve, and Bucky,"  something told him. <br/>	Then he felt the sheets that involved him, warm and comforting, familiar. He remembered when Steve took him to the mall, and he chose this one; it was a good memory. <br/>	"I don't know what to do if he wants to leave," RJ heard Bucky say, the man's voice was above than a whisper. It looked like he was talking between his teeth. <br/>	They were probably talking about him. How they wanted him for more missions and how they needed his habilities to be better, that was all that he had to offer to them anyways. <br/>	Before new thoughts could form in his head, RJ felt something climbing on the bed, something too small to be Bucky or Steve, so... Alpine? <br/>	RJ forced his eyes to open even though his eyelids were heavy. Before the world could even come into focus, he recognized the cat with pointy ears, white fur, and loving eyes. <br/>	"Hi Al," He said, but he did not recognize his voice. <br/>	He felt Steve and Bucky's eyes turning towards him, and he heard the footsteps coming towards the bed. RJ could now recognize that he was in his bedroom, the same bedroom that he first got. But right now, the difference was so clear. He knew Bucky and Steve, he trusted them, loved them. Knew that their bedroom was on the next door, that Steve liked to cook breakfast and mornings run, that sometime Bucky would sleep late and liked meditating. <br/>	"Hey, RJ. How are you feeling?" Steve's voice was so comforting, so caring that every fiber of his body was screaming to believe in it, to lean in a hug then and let himself be 16 years old with a usual family, but he couldn't, not after everything that had happened on the last few hours. <br/>	RJ felt his chest compressing, tried to put air in his lungs, but it wasn't coming. He looked at Steve and Bucky and felt his eyes burning with tears that were about to be shed, but he couldn't let them fall. If he starts, he won't be able to stop. <br/>	Against his best efforts, a tear fell, then another, then another, and he tried to stop them by making him invisible by making him small. So he curled up on the bed, letting out a sob. <br/>	He felt the mattress sinking in from both sides and knew that Bucky and Steve were beside him. A hand on his back comforted him, while another ran fingers through his hair. <br/>	"Why did you say that?" RJ said, hoping his voice wasn't as muffed to the point where they couldn't understand him. <br/>	"What, RJ?" Bucky said, and RJ could hear the confusion in his voice. <br/>	"Why did you say those things to Mr. Colt?" Another sob ripped through his body. <br/>	"Because I love you, kid. I love you, and I would fight the whole world to get you back-"<br/>	"Don't call me kid. I'm no kid." <br/>	"RJ, you are 16. You are a kid." Steve tried to reason with him. <br/>	"I'm not. I know what I'm doing, I knew. I heard too, you knew too, why don't you stop pretending?" Now RJ stood up and faced Bucky in the eyes. <br/>	"I don't understand-" Bucky looked at Steve for help.<br/>	"RJ, what did Colt told you?" <br/>	"He didn't need to tell me. He showed me. He showed me you telling him you were only using me, that you didn't love me and that I was just a killer to you." It hurt for him to admit it, but apparently, it was hurting Bucky even more. <br/>	"No, no, no, no! He lied to you. He lied. I didn't say those things. RJ, he said those things, he tried to manipulate me into saying those things, but I could never. Never. You know that." <br/>	"RJ, we never lied to you. Even the hardest truth, he never hid it. We are not Hydra. You go on missions with Bucky because it makes you happy. You train and fight because this is what you like, at least it's what we thought. But don't ever think for a moment that we don't want you or that we don't like you."  <br/>	RJ did not know what to do with that, so he did nothing. He laid in bed, feeling the softening presence of Bucky and Steve beside him as a million thoughts ran through his head. <br/>	"I like going to missions" Was the first thing he decided to say. <br/>	"I like it when you go to missions, too," Bucky said with a smirk on his face. <br/>	"Can I stay here?" <br/>	"Of course," Steve said. "We honestly don't know what to do without you." <br/>	 "I don't wanna leave this bed," RJ said as he adjusted himself and made him even more comfortable. <br/>	"And you don't need to," Bucky said and laid beside him. <br/>	"How about we put some movies in?" <br/>	They spend the rest of the day watching movies on Steve's computer. <br/>	The rest of the days followed in almost a normal pace. RJ now was seeing his shrink every day to try and overcome the trauma that he had been through, which every time made him roll his eyes.  His whole life had been an immense trauma, and what happened had only been the tip of the iceberg. <br/>	Bucky and Steve wouldn't admit it as well, but they were trying everything they could to make RJ feel welcomed and loved. Steve would make his favorite dishes, and they would watch his favorite movies. Everything RJ asked would be given without a question asked. At night, the only thing they could hope was that it was enough. <br/>	They all decided to go on a family vacation not that long after running away from their responsibilities was good and the best decision they ever had. <br/>	"I've never traveled before," RJ said in a low voice as he watched the waves hit the sand on Hawaii, "Not on vacation, at least." <br/>	"Are you liking it?" Bucky asked with a hand on his shoulder as he pulled the boy closer. <br/>	"I think this is the best day of my life." <br/>	"Really?" <br/>	"Don't get cocky. It doesn't have much competition," RJ said, and it was supposed to come out like a joke; instead, it made him sad to think about it. <br/>	"Guess we need to have to put some effort into that. There's are so many beautiful places in the world that we can make good memories. You're going to love it." <br/>	Steve returned with two drinks on his hands and handled one of them to Bucky and sad on the chair next to him. <br/>	"What are you two talking about?" <br/>	"More vacations," RJ said. <br/>	"We just arrived here. We didn't even see a volcano yet." <br/>	"I want to see the pyramids one day," Bucky said, teasing Steve. <br/>	"How about we see Hawaii first?" <br/>	"After the pyramids, we could go to Greece," RJ added up.<br/>	"Pompeii would be nice to, always wanted to go." <br/>	"You two are the worst." <br/>	They stood seated on watching as the sun was vanishing on the horizon. Bucky looked at his side and couldn't believe how lucky he was. He had a family, a son, a husband. What else could he ask?</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>